Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, January 13

Saturday's upcoming Bronco game

I am finally prepared to discuss tomorrow's play off game (Saturday night 8 pm Eastern, CBS)against the Patriots. I have had it in my head for two weeks now (come on, we knew they would win the wild card). I am finally prepared to say the Broncos will win. Why? Defense, our defense. Corey Dillon is once again listed as questionable for the game, which tells me he won't be playing much. That being said, they will have to rely on the passing game. That is a bad idea for them.

Here is how we beat the Patriots: First off, we intimidate the QB by rushing and blitzing on every play. Don't let him establish a rythym. It worked on the Eagles earlier this year in a big way. So now, they can't run and we have forced the pass - no problemo! We got Champ Bailey, John Lynch, and Darrent Williams in the backfield. Ain't nobody gonna be cathing shit against those guys. So, prepare for a HUGE game by Denver's defense. That will make all the difference in whether they win or not.

Go Broncos!

Thursday, January 12

Friday Fives

1. What was the last dream you remember?

Jerry Garcia was my bartender at the beach. It was pretty great. I'd actually pay to be dropped back into that dream.

2. Do you believe in Dog

Clearly, I do.

3. What is the most expensive item you have ever broken?

not counting cars, or hearts... it was probably this dude's glass bong that I knocked over in college. We were drinking at his house and I brushed past it and it fell and shattered. Had to replace dude's bong. Know what sucks about that? I don't smoke at all, that is what kills me. I mean, if I smoked then we would have just gotten all high and forgotten about it, right? I mean, maybe that is why he made me pay for it... because I wasn't a smoker. I should have told him I was a cop!

4.The Stockshow is in town. Let's contemplate. Would you have a problem eating horse meat and why or why not?

Not really. Meat is meat. To justify eating one animal but not another is stupid.

5. What is your favorite time of day?

about 2 am. Though I am working hard to change my ways (was in bed by midnight last night) I am very much a night owl. I am more awake at 2 am doing chores around the house than any other time. My mom used to say (and probably still does) "you are wasting the day" because with staying up all night comes sleeping all day. My response would be "No, you are wasting the evening". That being said, if there was competetive sleeping I would be the greatest in the history of the world... EVER. No, that isn't the stupidest idea in history. The stupidest idea in history is dude who came up with 'competetive eating'. What's worse about that is we are the fattest country in the world, and every year we lose to these tiny japanese guys.

Now I remember

You know, I have been so busy this week with remodeling my kitchen that I almost forgot to take some time to hate United Airlines. No worries, though, they stepped up to the plate like champs... as they always do. See, United went bankrupt a couple of years ago because of super bad management. Super bad! Don't tell me it was after effects of 9/11, or any of that horseshit. Southwest kept flying and kept making money. Anyhow, United demanded the government bail them out and pay all of their debts. The government, wisely, told them to f themselves.

So then United, in an effort to prove how horrible they are... canceled all of their employee's pensions. This leaves the Federal Govt (ie; you and me) to pay for these pensions for long time employees. Problem also is that the pensions would only be paid out to lifetime employees at about 40% of their original promised value.

That was then, this is now. We don't worry about them anymore because we fly Southwest Air now to Denver. Guess what United decided today, with the company still failing in bankruptcy, and still nowhere near ever making a profit? United CEO could get $15 million in stock
Three executive vice presidents at United would pocket restricted stock and options worth $6 million each, and four senior vice presidents would each receive equity grants worth $3 million. Thirty-one other company officers would each get $750,000 in grants, and 366 other managers would receive $100,000 in equity.
Wow. I mean, just... WOW. The company went teets up, laid everyone off, went into bankrupcy, reneged on the retirement for all their employees... then gave the suits Millions. Come on, what the shit is that? No wonder the company can't stay aground, they are too busy paying off management. Long story short, don't fly United.

Monday, January 9

It's a jeep thing, and no I don't understand

So I was driving to lunch and saw another Jeep Wrangler with that stenciled on the windshield and I got frustrated. It's a jeep thing, you wouldn't understand. I wouldn't understand what: You drive a shitty American car? That you have the most uncomfortable riding vehicle on the market? Gas mileage means nothing to you? That once every five years you go camping? That rolling over in traffic doesn't really worry you at all? That you are emotionally stunted from the age of 19 up?

Right, I don't understand... bro. I guess you are trying to show how tough you are with four wheel drive? Guess what, jackass, half the cars on the road here in Colorado have either four wheel drive, front wheel drive, or all wheel drive. So, that doesn't impress me. How about this gem; the tire cover with the odious slogan in question, but a smiley face with stubble on it. On yeah, that really impresses the babes. "Hey, I got a crappy car with bad mileage that will roll the second I hit black ice... oh, and I don't care much for grooming either! This is great if you are in high school maybe, but you are not. As for your pretend four wheeling, you are not just lying... but you are a pussy. If you want to do some four wheeling, I'll take you somewhere that will make you cry. It's called Red Cone. We did it last summer in my truck, and there wasn't a jeep to be found.

ok, truth be told... I don't mind jeeps too much and they are often great off road vehicles. However, anyone who thinks they are 'manning up' by declaring their 'You wouldn't understand', try this instead. Put a bumper sticker on your jeep that says 'I drive a jeep because I am compensating for a small weenie'. People will at least respect your candidness. I have two, one on my F-250 and one on my Corvette. Oh, and the other sticker on my truck says 'Jeep Rescue Vehicle'.