Happy Easter, right?

rabbit 

Ah, Easter. You know what is great about Easter? It is basically a Greatest Hits of why Christianity is so dumb. This isn’t about faith, or loving the lord. This is not a slam on your beliefs or religion. This is an open minded view of why every thinking and sentient gen x'er is devoid of faith. This is a fact folks, and I am just here to seek the answers. This is about the minutiae that all religions have that make it so tough for new generations to take hold of. You may have heard that today's High Schoolers are less aware of religion and the bible than any generation before them. There is good reason for this, my friends.

Where to start? How about the Friday before Easter? They call this Good Friday, because... that is the day Jesus was murdered. Lemme tell you something; if I ever get killed by someone, please don’t refer to that day going forward as good. If I was killed on March 22nd, don’t every year celebrate that day as ‘good Wednesday’. Honestly, it would really hurt my feelings. Next, we have the resurrection two days later. Well, actually we don’t know when the resurrection happened… just that he (Jesus) was gone on Sunday. So, why all that trouble dying if he was just going to come back to life a day later? Why bother dying at all if that is the case? Roy says that Jesus had to die, because it was for our sins. To quote Roy.

You can't be a martyr by taking the dull pencil.

Roy is absolutely right. In fact, it was that quote from Roy this afternoon which spawned this very piece you are reading. Let's look at that again and reflect. It sounds silly, but it really speaks volumes -

You can't be a martyr by taking the dull pencil

Well said! How about the timing? There is no secret this holiday (like all Christian holidays) nasced from pagan rituals. Easter – Estre – Estro – Fertility. Spring means new growth and rejuvenation. Spring means bunnies and eggs. This makes sense. Spring means new growth and new opportunities. The gruesome murder of our saviour, though, does not make me jump to candy... nor call the weekend good on any level. Further, how in the world does that stuff tie into Jesus coming back? (to make an angry point.) I mean, with the whole virgin birth concept… I get it! It is symbolism about purity and divinity. This is good myth stuff, without question. This Easter stuff though really needs to get punched up and made sense of. Then, it should be re-launched and re-marketed... at the very least.

Friday Fives

dear faithful reader. I know I haven't been writing much, and I apologize for that. Don't worry, there have been plenty of comings and goings in the news that warrant my attention, but the wife has been on crutches and immobile... so it takes up most of my time getting the two of us about. Plus, I was out of town on business. Plus, I turned 33 this week. From what I understand, both Jesus and John Belushi died at 33... so I got a lot of livin' to do just in case. Now, onto the fives!

1) What's your favorite sport (to watch or participate in)? How often do you have a ritual you participate in as you play it/watch it?

NFL Football. It is the only sport I watch, and missing it is not an option. Sunday's during football season are sacred. Go Broncos!

2) Do you feel that your favorite sport has a lot of negative influences on yourself or others?

Yes, all pro sports. These athletes are over paid, totally over indulged, cheaters (steroids), and these kids aren't even finishing college anymore. Oh, and aside from all this... is there a bigger jerk in all of sports than Barry Bonds? Have you seen these press conferences?

3) As a kid, did you have a sport/athlete idol?

Yes, I have had and still have one and only one sports idol... Walter Payton. His nickname was sweetness. He played for the Chicago Bears in their heyday (1980's). He could run, throw, catch. He was the best football player ever! He got them to a superbowl... and he wasn't a dick.

4) Which "extreme" sport would you like to try (or would have already tried) if you weren't afraid of doing it?

skydiving, and I ain't afraid to do it, ok? I am just to cheap and lazy! I ain't scared of nothin!

5) Are you caught up in "March Madness" (i.e., the NCAA basketball tournament)? Are you a basketball fan? Who will win?

No, am not caught up in March Madness. No I don't watch basketball. Who will win? Well, Tucson made it to the elite 8 last night... and that is as close to Phoenix as I can get. So, I'll root for them.