Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Saturday, June 3

Why do Democrats hate success?

I was at a friend's house last night having beers and he asked me that. Sadly, it seems I have more conservative friends in their early 30's then proper Democrat ones. There is this myth perpetuated that Democrats hate success. Also, Democrats love big government, lastly... Democrats are soft on terror. There are all things which are wrong.

We love people and companies to be successful, that is how we all get jobs. My point is that you don't get to kill anyone to get rich... nor can you kill anyone now that you are rich. fair?

Big Government? Bill Clinton had the smallest gov't since JFK. I don't even have to tell you about the debt GW Bush has racked up, for I can not count that high.

Democrats are soft on terror? Really? Only one time we were attacked on our own soil and that was when GW was President. Spain and London were also attacked during this time by the same group. The last thing I feel with GW in power is safer.

Thursday, June 1

Friday Fives

1. Have you ever been on national television?

kinda. I was in the audience for the Arsenio Hall show years ago. We were front row, so when the camera panned across during credits... there I was.

2. Socks, slippers, shoes or barefoot around the house?

sandals actually. My feet are so jacked up that it hurts to walk barefoot. What sandal you ask? I am proud to endorse Chaco's.

3. What are the advantages of your height?

none, jerk. Haven't you noticed a small Napolean complex here? I have issues, and I don't think this was the classiest way to handle it either. Calming down... surely there must be a benefit to being short. Nope, can't think of a single one.

4. Give an example of your absent mindedness

absentmindedness? I don't really have that issue. My issue is much more a lack of attention to detail. I skim everything. That is why you may find an occasional typo here and there. Just kidding, you will never find a typo. I am infallible... check the URL if you don't believe me.

5. Given only these choices, what do you prefer: horseshoes, shuffleboard, croquet, archery, or darts?

They are all with their merits, but horseshoes is a good time for sure.

Monday, May 29

Monday Fives

May is Traffice Safety Month

1. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

blind? Blind as in... can't report my license plate to the authorities blind? I whip empty beer bottles at the blind. Can't stand em, they are worse than the cripples!

2. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?

I was always had a beef with this stupid problem. The rule is you yield to the car on your right, hence the term 'right of way'. Here is the problem with that: If four cars arrive at the same time, everyone has someone on their right. So it then comes down to an elaborate dance of who looks craziest. I yield for mothers and children, personally. Everyone else is on their own.

3. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?

Faster is better. Might as well put all this insurance to work now and again.

4. What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

Well, you lose your license automatically for a year, that would suck major ass. Plus, I am still paying on a car I can't drive. I am proud to say I have no DUI's.

5. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

both mean stop, you asshole.