Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, May 11

Friday Fives

1. If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you'd find having a more staifying life than yours?

3 or 4

2. Do you ever spit or pick your nose in public. What about cleaning your teeth with a toothpick.

I take the 5th amendment - next question

3. If you knew a thermonuclear holocaust would occur in precisely 20 years and no one would survive it, how would you change your present life?

I'd stop recycling

4. If you wanted to look very sexy, how would you dress.

crisp jeans and a pressed white cowboy shirt, and my travelin' felt Indiana Jones hat. Wait wait wait, that is 'if you wanted to look like a short, fat, gay cowboy how would you dress' answer. I gets 'em mixed up, see.

5. If there were a public execution on television, would you watch it?

No, unless I had a vested interest in seeing the dude suffer (like if he touched one of you readers, or my mama).

As always, this week's creepy over the web therapy session courtesy of Roy. Stop in, try the veal.

Tuesday, May 9

Not a loophole

This just in, you can get arrested for a DUI on a

stolen police cruiser

I had heard the urban legend that police could give you a DUI on a bicycle, but know no one who ever received one. Where I went to school, everyone rode bikes. It was safer for all. In our eyes, we figured the worst we would do drunk on a biek was hurt ourselves... and we did. Anyhow, you can get busted for it so don't do it, even though it seems like a stupid law. So, what brings up this question, you ask? Did I get a DUI? Nope, never have. The reason we are having this discussion is this dude from Ohio was drunk one night... and he needed more booze. Now, being a smart and safe minded citizen, he knew not to drive his car. So, he hopped on his lawnmower and drove it to the store a mile away.

Being as though it was 10pm on a Friday night... it looked a wee bit suspicious. Anyhow, dude got pulled over and arrested for drunk driving on his rider mower. You know what? I am fine with that. The store was a mile away, it would have been as quick to walk there as to take a riding mower "down the sidewalk at 5 mph". Someone with judgement that clouded should't be operating anything. Oh, and about the police cruiser comment above, let's just say I ain't welcome back in Minnesota no more.