Friday Fives

1) What's the one movie you've seen more times than any other?

That would be either 'Fish Called Wanda' or 'Princess Bride'. These films are more than the funniest and best films of all time, but they share something else. As I watch them, I know almost every single line of dialogue so it's kinda sad. I am pretty sure I could put on Princess Bride and turn the sound off and just riff the whole movie. Yup, I am that annoying guy.

2) If you could turn one book, comic book or other print story into a feature-length movie, what story would you pick and why?

Well, I regard Alice's Adventures in Wonderland as the greatest book ever written. The good news is someone has got to that already. Same with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I'd have to say my favorite writer over all is Herman Hesse. His stories are very spiritual and always spoke to me. If someone could knock out any one of his books really well, that would be great. You would need the kind of director like Charlie Kauffman. Then, crazy good acting talent like Daniel Day Lewis or Russell Crowe. Yeah, that would be something.

3) Whom would you cast?

I just answered that. Which means either I am intuitive, or you are inattentive. For the record, reader... I don't pre-screen these questions. I answer them in absolute real time, so you are getting my steam of consciousness process as you read. Lucky you.

4) What one movie would you like to see "updated for the year 2005"? (Ie, a remake)

Harold and Maude

5) What one movie are you most looking forward to this year?

I can't say there is anything coming out that I will probably see on the screen, except for the new Batman. That looks pretty cool. Everything else can wait for DVD and Netflix.

Stop Activist Pharmacists

America, I can't tell you how angry I am... but let's give it a shot. We have a concern. You may have heard about this, and the story is getting more dire. There have been pharmacists who were refusing to give services like fill birth control to single women. The reason being moral. Frankly I think this is not even remotely the pharmacists business at all. None! You can not legislate morality. Even my cat knows that.

Then came news that pharmacists were refusing to give service like filling the 'morning after pill' subscribed by doctors. This includes cases of rape, the pharmacists said no... it is immoral. Guess what, we haven't even gotten to the nut of the story yet... but here comes.

Today we get word that the Texas legislature wants to protect these pharmacists and allow them to decide what they see fit to the public. Well this upsets me to a great deal. If anyone in the world has the right to make any kind of judgment on any level whatsoever, it might be a doctor. As for the activist pharmacist (an homage to history's worst president), it is their job to move the pills from the big bottle to the little bottle. Any pharmacist who tries to make a moral decision for a customer should be fired, jailed, or beaten and skinned alive.

What if you happen to get a Christian Scientist for a Pharmacist. You may know they don't believe in medicine and believe prayer is the only way to survive. Just wait until that fuckhead tells you that you don't need any of these prescriptions, as god will heal your HIV if he sees fit. This could be the worst piece of legislation in the last 100 years. Props to Texas for filling out the intolerant stereotype way ahead of Utah. If this becomes law, just forget about everything - freewill, medicine, family planning, self determination... forget ALL of it. The Republicans and the church will decide that for you.

Ten states are looking to expand "conscience clauses" for pharmacists. I will die a thousand deaths before I live in a single one of them. Religion is a drag. It is only holding this country back, and that isn't what it is supposed to be about. Y'all gotta get away from this shame based Christianity thing. You aren't in trouble, you don't have to repent. You didn't do anything wrong. Find a religion that lifts you up, not holds you down.

Lemme tell you something else, bubba - the Pope would not have stood for this shit!

Update

Because I work hard to force the dialogue of America in the right direction, I also published this piece to Blogcritics. I have gotten some great responses . I encourage you to drop over there and participate.