Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, June 8

Friday Fives

1. Remember the scene with Molly Ringwald putting lipstick on by holding it in her cleavage? Name one really bizarre thing you know how to do. No matter how small.

I can get people to agree with me

2. What’s your favourite way to pass the time?

being in the mountains for any reason

3. What’s your favourite restaurant and why?

Pita Jungle. I am so enamored with their Gyros that I actually wrote up a whole rant about them... but never published it. Not until now.

4. Which TV/Radio show did you like that’s not aired any more?

a toss up between the Dukes of Hazzard and the A Team. If I had to choose, I'd go with the A Team. I love it when a plan comes together!

5. if you had a choice of learning another new language, what would you choose? what do you think that reflects about you?

I'd learn Spanish better. That isn't really new, though, is it? So, I would learn Italian. What does that say about me? That I am a multicultural motherfucker.

Wednesday, June 6

The Rabies Test

God forbid your doggie ever get rabies. He probably won't, though. In fact, I have never heard of a dog getting rabies in my life. It happens in movies, though. Specifically, it happens in a Steven King movie. Know what that means? If you dog ever gets rabies, he will murder you in your car. Just a friendly heads up.

What is terrible is that if your dog gets rabies, he will die. Here is the kicker, though. Know how they test your dog for rabies? They have to kill your dog to test him. Do you see the problem with this? The only way to test if your dog will die is to kill him. Can you imagine how pissed you would be if you had your dog 'tested' for rabies and he was negative? "Well, the good is your dog was just fine... was."

So, just exactly what is the virtue of getting a rabies test? There are just so many problems with this. Let's use some analogies: the only way to find out if you are getting fired tomorrow is to quit ahead of time. Does your airbag work? Let's hit this wall at 50 mph to find out. Think this gun is really loaded? You get the idea. Just get your dog the stupid rabies shots so we don't have to find out.

Tuesday, June 5

So, what is a gentleman to do?

I have a miss manners type question for you all. If I know I will be in a meeting for more than an hour, I get to the room early. About five minutes, and set up camp with water, coffee, and a good seat. Inevitably, the room will be over booked. When ladies show up late, I feel obligated to offer my seat to them... as a gentleman should.

However, if they were on time, they would have gotten a seat. Also, I showed up early for this seat. Am I doomed to stand for the rest of my life? I mean, if someone is pregnant, old, or crippled... I will offer my seat in a second. However, if a lady is just late. I figure she should have to stand. I am in this moral quandry almost daily, and would really like your feedback.

I guess this also touches at the heart of chivalry vs equality. I think, for the most part, we can accomodate both... but not in this particular situation. Thanks!

Monday, June 4

Another Strike

You know how the lines to get into space take forever? Have you wondered why they charge you $2,400 for a coke on every trip to Mars? How about the baggage handlers, who explain with surly intention that liquids won't work in space? If you are tired of Nasa's shit, this will be bad news. Nasa's shuttle workers are going on strike. I can't really see how this applies to me.

I can tell you who it does impact, though. There is a shuttle launch this week, and the machinists have walked off the job. Big problem. Know what a machinist is? I didn't either, until I moved to Denver and learned United airlines machinists had walked off. Machinist is what aerospace calls their mechanics. The shuttle is launching in four days, and the mechanics have walked off the job. Indeed, this is a very big problem for eight individuals.

Nice to see that unions have expanded their ability to halt production all the way to space. No wonder everything comes from China, they have no unions there.