Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, March 18

Friday Fives

1. Would you consider yourself a good singer? How would you describe your singing voice?

No, I am a terrible singer. Just terrible. My singing voice is this flat nasally monotone thing. Normally this wouldn't be an issue for most people. I mean, look at you. However, I am a good guitar player who could be quite happy and successful being one of those singer/songwriter guys. As you know by now, music is my great love. If I could sing, I wouldn't have to pander this drivel to you.
To be honest though, I am getting at least as much enjoyment from writing to you all as I used to from music. Good news regarding that analogy, I have spoke with my council and you can download this stuff as often as you want. No charge!

2. Do you sing in the shower? What about in your car? Do you sing along to the radio/CDs a lot? Do you prefer singing when you're alone, or do you belt out tunes at any time?

I do not sing in the shower, but positively sing in the car. Like everyone, I pretty much crank it up and dork out. It's gets pretty silly when I am jamming to Jaz Z (seriously, download '99 Problems', it rocks!). However, for reasons just like that my truck is very well tinted. Also, when no one is around, I sing along with myself as I play guitar.

3. Who is your favorite singer at the moment, and why?

Well, frankly that is way too big of a question for someone like me. Yee Gods man, I just nearly topped off my iPod last night with 4200 songs. What the hell do I need 4200 songs with me everywhere I go? It's the greatest thing in the world though.

So I will answer, in a qualified manner. There is a singer whose voice I have really come to appreciate for it's confident power. Todd Park Mohr from Big Head Todd. If you aren't from Colorado, that doesn't mean much. I have been a casual fan of them for years (it's law in Colorado, actually) but recently bought a DVD of theirs. To watch him knock out 'Bittersweet' to me is like getting to watch Van Gogh work with oil. As Roy says, it is one of the great 'signature artist songs' of rock. Sorry to be so long winded tonight. I am fired up after having watched the Dylan movie 'Masked and Anonymous'

4. Do you ever watch the show "American Idol"? Who will win this year's competition?

Ever watched? yes. I watched the first two I think. Then, a blessing happened... I was put on the nightshift back at Echostar. I was working until midnight and could only watch cable. It kicked me of all my stupid tv show addictions. I dropped Survivor and Friends and American Idol and it was great. I mean, with Seinfeld gone... why does anyone bother?

Of course, I have a new stable of must see tv: Mythbusters (on Discovery) and Arrested Development (on Fox). So as to who will win this year... don't know.

5. Name a song that accurately reflects the way that you're feeling right now.

I would have to go with a song called 'Takin' it Easy' from Brad. You probably haven't heard of them, and that is ok. I found them because they are an offshoot of my beloved Pearl Jam. Apparently their roadie once had lunch with the distant cousin of one of Pearl Jam's roadies. Just kidding, of course. Both bands share the wonderful Stone Gossard. Anyhow, it is just a wonderful and relaxing great song. I had the priveledge to see this band from a few feet away with about 30 other people at a record store years ago with (you guessed it) my great friend Roy. It was terrific, and we got to meet them and get autographs and all that. I am still like a 14 year old kid when it comes to that stuff (meaning, I took my mom's car to get there... then smoked her Virginia Slim's)

Wednesday, March 16

Ward Churchill controversy - my final thoughts

In a relentless effort to further smear Churchill's name, investigators have found some pretty troubling details. He has been caught speeding at least twice. Just last year he was identified as conditioning, yet skipping the shampoo step altogether. Investigators find early photos of Churchill wearing a belt that clearly does not match his shoes either. He has gone on record referring to African Americans as 'blacks' and was unearthed to be holding at least three different library books with fines well into the hundreds of dollars. There are confirmed reports that he hates puppies and doesn't tip well either.

The point being folks: Get off his dick and move on with your lives. The guy isn't worth our energy. He is a dirt bag coattail riding narcissist punk with a monster chip on his shoulder. He has been caught plagiarizing text, art forgery, threatening multiple parties, possibly lying about being even remotely Native American, possibly lied about time in the Service etc. I say possibly because this guy isn't worth the 2 hours of research I should do to make this a better piece with more linkable proof to my points.

This guy is a thug and a liar, and so is beneath me spending the evening researching him. I am not bothered too much about what he said in his fabled essay. It was recently reported the beleaguered university had bought him out of his contract. That fell apart when more allegations of misdeeds surfaced. What bothers me is everything this asshat has done and said every second since then. If he really wanted to be a hero, he would have shunned the cameras and gone back to teaching.

It is really sad to see someone who thinks everything they do is great and that every opinion they have must be shared with the world. What drives a man to such obvious cries for attention and obsessive pettiness? I mean, thank god I snaked '' before he did... because at least with my all consuming self importance, I am decently funny.

So stop talking about him, you are giving it energy. If you need something to talk about, and clearly you do, use me! This will be my last post on dude hopefully forever.

Sunday, March 13

the Ken Lay defense

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So, Ken Lay (of Enron fame) was on 60 minutes tonight explaining why he is totally innocent. He took one of the most successful companies in America and drove it into the ground. How powerful was he? Well, President Bush used Enron's planes to campaign in. Anyhow, several folks are in jail, and nearly every single employee lost not just their job... but their entire retirement. See, Enron had the folks invest their future only in Enron. So Ken Lay was the head of the company, the big cheese, CEO.

I could go on and on about this gentlemen's evils, or why he should be beaten to death by the thousands of empoyees whose future he robbed. I won't though, because I am above that. So tonight dude said he was totally innocent. Yup, he pulled the Gary Barnett defense (I had no idea my students were raping and boozing and assaulting and embellzing school funds to get high school kids hookers and keggers). At which point in time, the 60 minutes person (some brand new guy) guy went for the perfect Gary Barnett offense (aren't you culpable then for having no idea what goes on inside your own organization?).

The moral of the story is this: Ken Lay is super guilty for one of two reasons. Either he completely orchestrated the hiding of all that debt which destroyed the company's value by over estimating non existant profits ---- OR ----- He should be fired for his huge and powerful company completely falling apart under his watch while he had no idea what was happening. Either way, the Gary Barnett defense doesn't work.

Ok, one last thing. I don't want to hear a single stupid comment like 'Why do you Democrats hate success?'. Seriously, that concept is so tired and so wrong. I love success, I am successful... and a great benefactor of capitalism. What I hate is people who take advantage of others.

I leave you with this image >

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