Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Saturday, September 23

Careful, you are about to learn something

Dear reader, I think I might be about to blow your mind with the following information. Note, this is not satire or social commentary. I was talking with the wife about Christian nutjobs ,and I remember this piece of information. When I was in my early teens, I had a wonderful Christian teacher. For some reason, I was into peaceful exhibitionism. I drew a 'Peace' sign on the chalkboard while she was away.

When she came back, she explained that the peace symbol was very offensive to her as it s origins were a broken and inverted cross.

Well, I didn't believe her... because I was 14 and didn't believe any adults. I forgot about until this week, and so did some research. Turns out, she was right. So, here is the symbol we all know so well.

So, to me the symbol always meant good and nice things. It means 'peace'. It means, cool out, be nice, it's all good, vote Democrat... those sorts of values, right? Well... um... no. Its origin really is a broken and inverted cross, and it's a pretty fucked up story. It was called 'Nero's Cross' in its early days, and featured an upside down dead dude. It was called Nero's Cross because it was adopted by Roman Emperer Nero. You remember the Romans, they are the ones who fed the Christians to the lions. It also came to be used by occult and satanists for whatever weirdo reasons. Check this out:

See, I told you that was some wack stuff. Anyhow, you know I am the last person on the planet to be a Christian apologist... but I thought you should know. If a Christian ever freaks out on your over the peace sign, that is ok... they get to.

This doesn't mean to abandon peace, the sign, the thought, or the deed. In fact, this info is so obscure that you are the only one who knows it. Don't drop the thought of peace for a second, howeverI might suggest abandoning Christianity, but then we'd only be left with Islam. I hate both, and feel strongly that both are pushing us to war for their own agendas. I know y'all don't come to me for learning, but I thought that was something to share. Oh, and Nero wasn't a Muslim... if you are trying to make a connection. No, those guys (the Romans) were the ones who had a god for everything. They had a water god, a wine god, a war god, a weather god, a god god... a god for every occasion.

Thursday, September 21

Friday Fives

1. It was the great musical philosophers Donny and Marie that posed the juxtapostiion: "I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock and roll. Which are you?

Well, let's talk about this. Get comfortable, because music is the language I speak. For all my life I would have told you; rock and roll. I would have told you that country is stupid, gay, over-produced, and insincere. In the last few years I have changed my ways greatly. Roy has turned me onto so much amazing music, as I have done the same for him. I can't imagine leaving the house now without: Willie Nelson, John Prine, Johnny Cash, the Little Willies, and Dwight Yokam (sp?). Long story short, the original country... which is more folk music than asshats doing Ford commercials... is often profoundly great music.

Here is a test. How can I tell if it is good country, or just cheeseball over produced corporate drivel? Good question! The first and best secret is how ugly are they? I am serious. Before videos, country music was told by old ugly drunken bastards who lived hard lives. If your country guy is uglier than your grandmother... you may have a star!

2. What's your shoe size? Do you think you have big feet or little?

my shoe size is 8 in mens. Stop giggling, I know I have tiny feet. How tiny? My wife and I share shoes, true story. What does that mean? It doesn't mean I have a small dick (the huge Ford in the driveway tells you that)... it says we are smart shoppers and I am slightly emasculated. Maybve we could keep this a secret, eh?

3. Would you rather slap the Pope with a dead fish or play pinochle with the Mona Lisa?

two things on that: I love to fish, and I have no idea how to play pinocle. Instead, I offer a great Pope joke >

this old preacher was out fishing with one of his young stable boys. The preacher lands this monster fish, a total beauty. He says to the boy "look at that sonnuvabitch!"

the boy is taken aback and corrects the preacher. The preacher, trying to cover his tracks says "no, that is the kind of fish it is... a sonnuvabitch!. So they take it back to the monestary and have the nuns cook it up for the big Pope visit that night... and the legend grows about the true name of the beautiful fish.

The Nun serves the Pope, and says "your Holiness, I carry to you this sonnuvabitch".

the server says "and I prepared this sonnuvabitch for you".

The cook then comes out and says "your holiness, I cooked the sonnuvabitch".

So the Pope looks up and says "Know what? You fuckers are alright!"

4. What was the first video/computer game your remember playing?

choplifter. It was a rudimentary, single color, single dimension, DOS based game I learned on an old IBM. The premise was all these crappy stick figures were in a house fire and you had to medivac them away from the ground in this crappy helicopter. Problem was, if you loaded too many crappy stick figures onto one crappy helicopter, it would crash. Also, if you waited too long... the crappy stick figures would burn on the ground. There was a true sense of urgency in getting these crappy stickfigures to safety. Oh, and this was before Pong and Asteroids.

Don't believe me? Click here, I found a screen cap of it.

5. What's your favorite movie line? Why?

Oy, I too am a movie dork with too much in my head. Most of my arsenal comes from 'Fish Called Wanda' or 'Princess Bride'. Ok, here it is. This is expletive ridden, and you should probably skip it. This piece is an exchange between Otto and Archie Leesh from Fish Calle Wanda:

Otto: You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.
Archie: How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
Otto: You are the vulgarian, you fuck!

interesting note on that. Kevin Kline won best supporting actor Oscar for that role. Name another time a comic role won the Oscar? Even better trivia: the audio of that exact scene was the greeting on my answering maching in college for exactly two days. It was meant to amuse my buddies. Problem is, my mother called and heard that and was profoundly NOT amused. I removed it immediately.

In case you don't remember > the Friday Fives come courtesy of my very important friend Roy.

Monday, September 18

help me to understand

So, the Pope quoted this super old dude in saying that Islam has 'preferred to solve everything with violence'. That is super summed up by me, and probably poorly. Anyhow, so the Pope says Islam has often historically represented violence.

In order to disprove the Pope, because they were super offended, Islam has threatened to... quote:
wait for defeat... We say to infidels and tyrants: wait for what will afflict you. We continue our jihad. We will not stop until the banner of unicity flies throughout the world," said the statement attributed to the Mujahedeen consultative council. "We will smash the cross," it added, promising Muslims they would "conquer Rome... as they conquered Constantinople."

Ok, so here is how I read this. The Pope says "Dude, you guys gotta lay off the 'violence as a solution for everything' approach if you want people and history to take you seriously. This is how I see his comment, and I am no Pope apologist. In fact, most times I am greatly differing with an quite angered at the Vatican.

So, radical Islam says back: 'Fuck you! We aren't violent, and that is a racist generalation. I will kill you. I will kill every last one of your family in front of you after that.

Does anyone else see the disconnect here? Long story short, these guys pretty much validated every single word of the Pope through their actions and responses. I can almost assure that is the last time I will agree with Pope Ratzenburger.

addendum - the next day: dear reader, this is what you should be saying to me > these cries of anger and violence came from a small minority of insane and violent people. These comments are not indicative of the larger segment of law abiding and decent Muslim people. Stop with you racist generalizations.

That is what you should have said.

Then, I would have said this >
until the Muslim people of the world stand up to these assholes, then they too are a part of the problem. Crazed Muslims will not listen to us, just like crazed Christians will not listen to us. I am hoping, though, that if the Muslim community stands up to these dudes... then it would carry more weight. I am beginning to understand we are in a world war right now - Muslim versus everybody else.