Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, May 13

Friday Fives

1. How often do you cook at home?


2. How did you learn how to cook?

College. It wasn't so much hating school union food, but a need to express myself creatively. I do that as much through cooking as music or writing.

3. What is a meal that has special meaning to you?

I make this dish called 'Lono chicken' that I pretty much lived off of in college. It goes something like this: boneless skinless chicken breasts diced into cutlets. diced onions, garlic, and bell peppers. Generally a jalepeno or two thrown in. Throw all this in a skillet with some olive oil, sea salt, fresh cracked pepper, and whatever else is in the fridge that seems good. Salad dressings often work well. Throw this around and towards the end thow in half cup of heavy cream to thicken. Pour this concoction over a plate of rice a roni (broccoli and cheese, for example). Then... top with fresh grated cheese.

I can't tell you how many times in my life I have had this, but it is many. I call it default cooking. As long as I have chicken and onions, pretty much every other ingredient is negotiable depending on what is left in the fridge. That, my friend, is Lono Chicken. Oh, and if you serve that to a girl with a bottle of white wine... you will get laid too. Another reason why it was a college staple. Chick's are amazed when a guy cooks well.

4. What is the last meal you cooked?

that would be last night. We had 'Buffalo chicken'. Since I am from Buffalo, I can tell you. I marinate boness skinless chicken breasts in buffalo wing marinade hot sauce for an hour or two. Then, grill it (frequently basting with fresh buffalo sauce as you go). Important tip: use a different bowl and sauce for marinating the chicken. You can't use the existing marinade the chicken was sitting in. it is a cross contamination issue and raw chicken juice will KILL you. Sanitation is super important when cooking with chicken, I can't stress that enough. Seriously, you should wash your hands just for reading this.

Then, throw the cooked breasts on a hamburger roll and you got yourself a delicious and juicy $8 sammich for about $1.50. Add lettuce and mayo and tomatoe of course.

5. What is your least favorite thing to cook?

I love cooking just about everything. The thing I can't do, and don't do... is bake. It is too precise and boring for me. When I cook, everything is done on the fly and improvised according to mood and resources available. You can't do that with baking. Baking is boring, just like you.

Tuesday, May 10

Just live closer

So some report came out reminding us how absolutely terrible Denver traffic is. Our city size is like 13th and we have like the 7th worst traffic in the country. My co-workers all confirm this. I have several employees who drive more than an hour each way. In the old days, folks would shift bid for their lifestyle, or day care. Now, folks here bid for a shift that will get them home before or after rush hour.

Gas Prices are rising, and so that isn't helping things either. Plus, we are at war with the people who make the gas. Here in Denver we have a wonderful e mail based system called My Traffic News that e mails you every day before you go home to tell you how bad your drive will suck today... accident reports, construction info, and concerts which impact traffic. They have a slogan called 'Sleep in for Safety'. While I am already doing that, I have a better idea... move closer to work I made that decision about five years ago, and am so happy I did. It was when I was driving an hour each away across the length of Denver. Then, they announced we would be tearing up and rebuilding our highway through town. This is good, it needed it. However, that freeway was how I got to work and home every day.

So I decided to move south. Now I am 12 minutes from work. I can go home for lunch every day and just watch CNN and eat a frozen meal. I don't though. I sit here at my desk and type to you dorks. It is also nice to be so close to home in case I have to change (you have no idea how messy I am). I am so close that when the tornado hit my house two years ago, people at work saw it happen.

So now I don't worry about commutes, construction, weather, rush hour, or gas prices. So, this saves you a fortune in gas. This saves the environment a ton of poison, because it is clear that none of you are willing to take public transportation. This helps eliminate our dependency on hostile nations for resources too. Honestly, I can't see why you wouldn't do this. Ok, I hear you on that. You say, what about my spouse? He/she doesn't work anywhere near where I work. Wouldn't that be created the same problem for him/her if we just move near my job? The answer is, fuck 'em! You are the one who took the intitiative to read this, and so I have decided you are the one who gets to live closer. After all, I am correct.