Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, April 14

Friday Fives

1. Have you ever ridden a camel?

No, what the hell kind of question is that? Are you poking fun at me growing up in Arizona? That is just insensitive.

2. When you are outside, what does the horizon look like?

whenever possible, I am facing West looking at the Rocky Mountain range... which is just amazing. Life affirming!

3. Who is the last person to leave you a message?

my wife, asking me to steal paper from work because our printer was out at home

4. How many hours did you sleep last night?

2 am to 11 am, so that would be 9 hours.

5. Peanut Butter: take it or leave it?

Leave it! If I were to eat Peanut Butter, and I don't, it would definately be smooth. I'll tell you that. I don't even trust crunchy peanut butter eaters. In fact, a recent study published here indicated crunchy peanut butter eaters are mostly rapists, pedophiles, and anit-semites. Is that the crowd you want to hang with?

Tuesday, April 11

The immigration thing

Heavy stuff today, kids. However, it is a discussion we need to have. You have heard bits and pieces on the news about immigration protests happening on a very large scale recently. It is spawned by this: California wants to make being an illegal immigrant a felony. The way it is currently is that if you are an illegal migrant and are caught, you are sent back to Mexico (assuming you were from Mexico in the first place... which is largely what this issue is about). The problem through the eyes of the lawmakers is that there is zero disincentive to cross the border again.

This is a valid point. So the way California wants to handle it is to put them away with really bad guys. This is a solution, but the wrong one. It is wrong for so many reasons.

First off, it is racist. That is self explanatory. Secondly, it would be incredibly expensive to jail immigrants. Third is, you are telling them if they are here they are criminals. Stay with me here, this gets kinda strange to explain. Let's say I am an immigrant working here illegally. I know if I am caught I will be tried and punished as a criminal. That being said, why not be a criminal?

If you are going to jail no matter what, why not rob a bank or two? The consequences are the same. Let's say I am an immigrant here illegally and I am getting pulled over for speeding. Am I going to stop? Hell no, I ain't going to jail for nothing. If I am going to jail no matter what, let's make this a real car chase! We are going to jump curbs and drive through at least one convenience store. Nah, let's go Blues Brothers and drive through a mall. What the hell, I am already a felon and already going to jail for a long time.

So, we should not criminalize them or demonize them. These aren't solutions. We must admit that there is a problem though. In using our resources (health care, infrastructure, roads... etc) they are drawing from the well of taxpayer resources and not paying in. Why? Cause they refuse to? No, cause we won't let them. That is stupid. I am going to say something I have never said before and probably won't say again... I agree with the president.

Let's legalize them, and make them pay taxes just like us. Simple, and you benefit. I know what you are saying, racist. You are saying 'how would I benefit'? Do the math... if the estimated 13 million illegal immigrants started paying into the tax base, your taxes would be cheaper. For example, do you know why you pay so much for car insurance or health care? It isn't because you are a shitty driver (which you are, by the way). It is because 25% to 40% of drivers out there are uninsured. Same with health care, so you end up subsidizing this. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Let's have the guest workers pay for taxes and health insurance like we do by legitimizing them.

I am sure the issue is far more complicated than this, but closing our borders isn't the answer. If you work and pay taxes, you may come and go freely to and from Mexico. If not, then you can't play. Now, this is admittedly a plan for existing immigrant workers. I have no idea what to do with the constant influx of new immigrants. Maybe if they found out they were taxed to the submission like we are, they wouldn't be so eager to come over. As for the fence issue, that is a whole nother piece for another time.