Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Saturday, October 2

some modern political dialogue for you

Reader, you are getting this somewhat out of context. I guess I would recommend you start with reading this piece I wrote for blogcritics.

I then got back a response that basically hit the GOP talking points about Dems. For example: why don't Dems want people to work? Why do Dems want to tax everything? Why don't Dems appreciate our military and freedom? You get the idea... here is my rebuttal to my most excellent and terrific cousin who works much harder than I do. He also runs the family business that got me here today. I guess you could consider this piece part 4 in my 'Myths about Democrats' series. I have yet to write part 3, about gun control... but it is coming!


I think I agree with about all your conerns down there. Problem is, you are looking at the outdated mythology of the Democratic party. For example, there is the myth that Dems love big government and handing out money to the poor. Bill Clinton has been the only president to take on and reform welfare. Clinton enacted 'welfare to work', which meant you couldn't just hang out and make babies to collect checks.

The second myth is how we love to tax and spend. Again, Clinton shrunk the size of the federal government to the smallest it had been since John Kennedy. Also, he controlled spending and gave us a SURPLUS of money. Remember that $300 check that President Bush sent out years ago? Yeah, that was money that Clinton had saved up through prudent spending... and Bush choked away.

Now, the deficit is higher than it has even been.... and will continue to grow. This all to fight a war in Iraq. Ok, to be fair... none of it is going to fight the war in Iraq. It is going to private contractors and mercenaries. The GAO is just as curious as to where that 87 billion went as you are... because we are still short on soldiers there and their resources suck, regrettably. As Senator Kerry pointed out last night during the debates, Iraq had NOTHING to do with terrorism or 9/11. The reason why Iraq had nothing to do with terrorism is because Saddam ran a very tight ship... and didn't like anyone else competing for power or tyranny. The war on terror needs to be focused on Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. We know where the terrorists are, we know where they get their money and training... and it has nothing to do with Iraq (hint, our true enemy and threat is a country that rhymes with Saudi Arabia).

Well, it didn't until about a year ago. Now Iraq is a haven for anti-American sentiment. Why? Because we are not liberators. We were a year and a half ago... now we are occupiers. I am not saying cut and run, no one is... but we need to suss up the situation. More importantly, we need to determine, as a nation, is 'suss' is really a word.

As a taxpayer, I am all for getting much more of my paycheck. and when I see a guy standing on the corner holding a sign for money... I too think 'get a job asshole. I did!'

Keep in mind the great words of Henry David Thoreau in his piece on Civil Disobedience written in the 1850's
'the government that governs least, governs best'
Now that is poetry. I feel 100% confident that if Thoreau were alive today, he would be voting Democrat this November. Quick reminder, Monday is the last day to register to vote!

Friday, October 1

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

Tonight we have a special election debate forum of the Friday Fives. Last time Roy and I spoke, I had joked I would pay him per word for the new Friday Fives. My mistake, reader. 1. We are deep in the trenches of the political season, with congressmen, senators, presidents, oh my. Last week, we talked a bit about the "what-if" vision for your city, if you were mayor. Taking a step back to the bigger picture, what five things do you look for before you cast your ballot? What does it take for a Democrat, a Republican, a Libertarian, a Green Party candidate to get your vote? well, to me the famed tag of 'professional politician' is not a drag. I have nothing but respect for people who have crafted a life of public service. I think it is a mark of honor, and I would be thrilled to be one day described as 'someone who has spent his life in public service'. That is not a dis, my friends... and if you feel that all politicians are thieves and weasels, then get in the race and clean it up! That being said, I feel consistently secure with the goals of the Democratic party. 2. The Grammy's were just given out and HBO, with their stable of Sopranos and hot city ladies lunching in the city, clean up. On the other, gave out their first annual "Buffy" awards to television shows that didn't get an awards but deserve one. What tv shows, movies, albums, books and performers that were given an award in the last year deserve more attention, by blog readers or the public in general. (Short version of this question: Who was robbed?) Dunno, I don't watch most TV because I work nights. I rely a good deal on the Daily Show from Comedy Central... but they won a buttload of Emmys, so they don't need me espousing their virtues. That being said, I try to never miss Mythbusters on Discovery, and Arrested Development on Fox. 3. In five bullet points or less - explain NASCAR to me. I still don't get it. (And I work for Nextel, where it is a career expectation!) shit, I have no idea. I do know a redneck joke though: Why do southerners have sex doggie style? So they can both watch the races. There it is. Not even an indictment on southern culture... just a joke to show how completely (and blissfully) out of touch with Nascar culture. 4. Career advice: There is a person who sits very near to me who burps all day long. She (yes, she) lets loose with these enormous belches, without so much as an excuse me or a polite covering of the mouth with her hand or napkin. Name five annoying things your coworkers do around the office/shop. How do you deal with that? Well, I have a complaint... but it is completely my own issue. Where I sit (in a cube in a call center) I am very close to two religious people. I have no problem with that, however I find myself working very hard not to say things that might offend them. I have total respect for decent religious working people, but I have completely differing beliefs from most pious folk. My intentions are as noble as theirs... mine just involve the 'F bomb' more frequently in conversation then they would like. 5. It's a rainy autumn weekend ahead. That means cocoa, a DVD or two and perhaps a blankie. I always get nostalgic this time of year for old movies, television and food. And I have a few new books to read. What are you favorite ways to spend a rainy day? the word is snow too, about which I am stoked. What can I say that you didn't? Broncos game on Sunday, watch the snow, and sip hot buttered rum... life is good.

Wednesday, September 29

No good deed goes unpunished

No good deed goes unpunished

You know that we have been in a drought for a few years here in Colorado by now. You know that Denver water has begged, demanded, and billed us into conservation. Denver Water embarked on a huge public education campaign to ask citizens of metro Denver to conserve water, and re-think their approaches to water use. Good news, we did it! We conserved like crazed camels, we did. Here, let CBS explain it:
DENVER (AP) So many metro area residents and businesses have cut down on water use, the state's largest water utility is considering raising rates to make up for lost revenue.
The result? Denver Water didn't make any money and has to raise their rates this year. Seriously, what kind of bullshit is that? So the moral is this, please don't use the water... because it is deadly scarce. However, if you don't use the water... you will be punished. * update - for fuck's sake. I found out why water rates are really rising, so we can subsidize lunches for Denver water employees. I don't mean we subsidize their lunches by paying them a living wage that they can then spend on lunch if they choose, I mean
"Every year, Denver Water subsidizes its cafeteria to the tune of about $100,000 to keep food prices low."

Monday, September 27

Grave concerns about Democracy

So this was just reported over the Associated Press wire. Respected former president and international voting watchdog Jimmy Carter issued this statement: Carter, citing the experience of his Carter Center in monitoring international elections, said "some basic international requirements for a fair election are missing." Most significant, he said, were requirements that a nonpartisan electoral commission or official organize and conduct the electoral process and that voting procedures be uniform for all citizens. Guess where President Carter was referring to? Afghanistan? Iraq? North Korea? Nope, President Carter was talking about Florida. Because Florida has a huge amount of electoral votes (27), frankly their vote counts WAY more then yours or mine. That is the nature of the system, and that is why the politicians don't pay attention to your needs... you don't live in Florida.

Am I buff yet?

Are you done snickering, jerk? I am serious, you guys. Listen, I joined a gym this weekend. It took me 32 years... but I am committed. I joined Saturday and went today for the first time. I swam some laps in an Olympic length pool. Holy shit, it kicked my ass! I am going to go three times a week, expanding my repertoire by one more lap each week (today was 5, 3 freestyle and 2 backstroke). Or... I just figured I am gonna hang out at the gym and watch Seinfeld re-runs. The cool thing is this; I like to use it in conversation.
  • Hey everyone, sorry I am late... just got back from the gym.
  • Oh, I was supposed to mow the lawn and clean up the beer bottles off the roof? I was gonna honey, but I have been at the gym.
  • That body officer? Not possible, I was at the gym all night.
Honestly, this gym thing is gonna be terrific. I have thought the whole thing through, and I am getting more buff every minute. I met some new friends who are teaching me a lot about myself and others. Being a student of sociology, I am always curious and always learning. I have learned a great deal about the social strata of the outside world through the eyes of my new friends. Margaret Meade take note. It turns out folks can be looked at roughly in these new categories, which I think will light up the academic world of forensic sociology. Americana falls into these categories:
  1. Us
  2. those guys? total fags!
  3. mostly a bunch of pussies, I hear
  4. her? oh, she's a bitch
  5. (and finally) her? Oh, she's totally hot for me
So that is what I have picked up so far. I wanna thank my new buddies Tank and T-bone for showing me the ropes and helping me write this piece. If you'll excuse me, I gotta go wax T-bone's thighs for the big tourney coming up. I'd tell you more, but you have to buy tickets to the gun show first.