Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, September 6

Friday Fives

1. What’s something you suspect you regularly overpay for?

gas. Prices have doubled in the last three years. We haven't opened a new refinery in over 20 years. This psychotic asshole president was supposed to get us free oil. I mean, isn't that why we gave up on fighting terrorism and Bin Laden and Al Queda to move to Iraq? Minimum wage hasn't move in 20 years in this country, how am I supposed to afford $3 a gallon? America is about freedom, and freedom is about mobility. Roger Daltry of The Who said it back in 1972 in 'Going Mobile' "I don't care about pollution, I'm an air condition gypsy... that's my solution".

2. What’s something you suspect you regularly underpay for?

gas. You know we pay less than almost every country in the world for gas? Gas costs less than bottled water, people! Consider the damage that petroleum does. It causes major nasty pollution, and directly funds people who want to kill us . Will Americans ever conserve? Will it take gas at $5 a gallon for yahoos like me to get rid of their pick up trucks?

3. What’s taking up more of your time than it should?

Prolly this laptop. I am totally enamored. Now I can check news, e mail, and soon my fantasy football constantly. I love technology.

4. What’s causing you stress only because you let it?

my 14 hour drive home. I have done it a million times, twice a year for ten years. Still, that long of a drive always makes me nervous. Also, I gotta sell this ginormous truck of mine. Wanna buy it?

5. If all your karma were based on your positive and negative attitudes, would it be in good shape, in bad shape, or perfectly in balance?

It would be in great shape. Hopefully, better than in balance, in the plus column. So, you gonna buy the truck or not?

Wednesday, September 5

I'm already reconsidering this piece

Ok, y'all, it's time to talk about the Senator Craig sex scandal. In brief, this creepy old senator dude from Idaho (or Iowa... one of those states) got busted soliciting gay bathroom sex at the airport. Awesome! Good leadership, Senator. Apparently this isn't his first foray into trouble. He was implicated back in the early 80's in s Congressional sex and cocaine scandal. Whatever. What dude wants to do on his time in his house is his business. Problem here is this: dude is married. see, you thought gay sex was frowned upon by the GOP... wait until your wife finds out.

I gotta imagine that is what landed him strollin' for colon in the men's room. See, my wife never lets me have crazy gay sex with strangers in my house, either.

It gets better, so stay with me. When the senator got arrested, the officer said it was simply a citation. The officer told the senator the media would not be called, so he should just plead guilty to make this go away. So, he did. This was last year.

A few weeks ago, his local newspaper found this out and released the story. The senator's response was two fold; he held a press conference to announce:

1. he wasn't gay
2. he was reconsidering his guilty plea

I love it when people have press conferences announcing how gay they aren't. That sure worked for Ted Haggard and Mike Piazza. By the way, he didn't get arrested for being gay. Being gay isn't illegal, even for Republicans.

So, dude says he was innocent and should not have plead guilty. Then, his entire party (the one's who hates gays) turned their back on him and told him to resign. On Saturday, he did.

See, we have all been accused of things we didn't do. I am still angry that 20 years ago when I worked at Jack in the Box they accused me of taking $60 from the register. I never did that. Never. Sure, I stole food... but never touched the cash. My manager asked me to "just confess" and I wouldn't be fired. I refused to confess. If I were accused to seeking gay sex, I mean crazy weird illegal airport gay sex... and I was innocent > I would fight the shit out of that.

Then, the GOP had an epiphany. Absolutely no Idahoan with half a brain would vote Republican to replace this guy. So, they begged him to stay... after he resigned. So, now the senator has decided to reconsider his resignation. Really, the only thing he should have reconsidered was trying to get laid in the airport bathroom with an undercover cop. George Michael was not able for comment on this piece, but is positively giggling somewhere.

** totally awesome update > Thursday 5:18 pm.

Apparently reading this blog, Senator Craig's folks released this statement. "he was going to retire, anyway." That is so perfectly childish. it's like if you get fired from a job (which he kinda did) and you reply to the boss on the way out "I was gonna quit anyway!"... and that somehow that redeems your shame and self worth.