Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, August 12

Friday Fives

1. Do you exercise on a regular basis?

twice a week, with a trainer

2. Name one person that raises your blood pressure:

my boss, but that is more me worrying than him being a dick

3. You need to go up two floors in a building: do you use the stairs or the elevator?

two floors? Elevator. One floor, stairs.

4. Have you ever participated in an "Extreme" sport?

no, I am 33, flat footed, bald, nearsighted, left handed, short, fat, and ugly.

5. Imagine that you have the opportunity to become a foreign correspondent for a week. Where would you want to report from, and what types of stories would you be interested in doing? (In honor of Peter Jennings.)

send me to Hawaii, I'll cover anything!

Thursday, August 11

Dressed like a drunken, bra-less, Leprechaun

I am prepared to speak about the President's highway and transportation bill. The Democrats are up in arms about the pork barrel spending, and rightfully so. What is porkbarrell spending? It looks like this: a senator in Alaska gets 10 million to build a bridge to name after himself. Anyhow, the bill is filled with Billions of dollars for stuff like that.

I am going to differ with my party (and most reasonable humans) and say: fine. yup, I am good with the bloated, monster. Wanna know why? I am fine with it because this will be the very first time the President has done a single thing for American workers. We are spending (and sending) Billions to Halliburton and many more of the President's cronies. While inefficient, and rewarding the wrong behavior... at the very least it will create jobs. Plus, if we are going to blow 60 or 70 Billion... spend it on roads and safety. You have heard about government manuals that are 30 pages long on how to change a light bulb. There is no secret this is the most fiscally irresponsible administration and congress since the Tammany Hall scandal went public about a hundred years ago. I have never in my life seen spending like this. With that being said, at least with this highway... some money is being spent on me and in my community.

While it seems like too much government money goes to stuff like studying whether earthworms suffer depression... at least the highway bill is something we can all benefit from. Remember, after Iraq, the president's goal is to go to Mars. This is your only chance as a taxpayer to reap some of your share of the pie. Let's start an ashphalt company.

Where have I been

Again, I know I haven't written much lately... but neither has Shakespeare. The truth is, I have been writing. It is just stuff I didn't think you were interested in. In the last three days I have been to two major heavy metal concerts. Anyhow, I wrote some reviews... and the Crue review was actually picked up and carried nationwide. So, for your reading enjoyment - Motley Crue & Iron Maiden. Oh, and here is a link to one of my nationally syndicated pieces. I finally made it in Cleveland!