Friday Fives

1. What book has had the most significant impact on your life?

Probably Jack Kerouac's On the Road. I discovered it in high school and it set me on a path of discovery with literature, sprirituality, and good times.

2. What is the worst lie you've ever told?

Dunno. I repress that stuff. Besides, I wouldn't tell you anyway.

3. If you could write your own epitaph, what would it say? can I steal Roy's line? I am going to. It would be this: Hey you kids, off my lawn!

4. If you could have chosen you name what would it have been?

I enjoy a good name. I watch an awful lot of football these days, and so I study those names most. My favorite is Julius Peppers, though sadly already taken.

5. What is in the trunk, or back, of your car?

tow rope, tool bag, safety flares, snow scraper, jumper cables, clean cotton towel, old jacket for back up, Haynes repair manual for the truck, atlas, flashlights, old digital camera (which still works, for emergencies), bunjee cords, first aid kit, and rope. I am a safety dork, and so keep my truck prepared in winter as a mobile safety and emergency center.

I already miss Scott McClelland

It looks like White House press secretary Scott McClelland is out. He hasn't held a conference in almost a month (the used to be daily) and I am sad. I knew he wasn't long for this world, but he was a warrior. To me, the measure of a great press secretary was Ari Fleischer. He worker for President Bush during the first term, and was a master prevaricator. That man could lie like nobody's business. Ari's answer to every single question was "who said that? We never said that? I never said that!" I think it was force of habit. However, lying for a dirtbag administration takes it's toll... and is certainly not worth $151,000 a year. Dude probably makes that a week now in speaking fees. Ari was a benchmark, and I admired him as a worthy foe.

Then came this playdough lookin' thing, Mr McClelland. It took me a while to pick up on his style... but dude had mad style. He went out every single day and lied his teeth off. He knew it, but he didn't have a choice... it was his job. Then, when you call him on the lies, freudian slips, etc... he says: It is our policy not to comment on ongoing... (bla bla bla)

Well, if you know anything about this administration then you know pretty much everything is an ongoing investigation. Plamegate, Duke Cunningham's conviction yesterday, Tom DeLay's multiple indictments, the investigation on Bill Frist for insider trading etc etc etc.

Oh, and any one of the hundreds of lies and scandals surrounding the war. Hey, that is how war is... I understand this administration has to keep us in the dark about a lot of it... so would a Democrat. However, I'd hate to be the guy who had to come out every day and lie about it.

I knew he couldn't last, which means I trust he is a good guy. I told my buddy Roy this summer that McClelland would be gone by Halloween. Well, he did one or conferences after Halloween and hasn't been seen since... so I almost nailed it. He probably got called to testify for Fitzpatrick before a Federal Grand Jury about what the administration knew regarding Cheney & Rove involvement in the Plame leak. Yeah, now we are talking jail time, and the job doesn't seem so fun.

In the spirit of the great McClelland and Fleischer, I have penned the want ad for the Washington Post.

Wanted Liar

Local Administration looking for charismatic, well spoken, articulate, educated, and instinctive liar. Ideal candidate needs to be able to lie about BIG issues. War, Economy, felonies, Impeachments, and lying regarding the previous day's lies. Job pays $150,000 plus full legal protection in first year. Opportunities to travel, discuss and deny foreign policy. Stonewalling skills a MUST. Apply in person, Whites only.