Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, September 1

Friday Fives

1. Do you have any Labor Day traditions?

yes. Every year we travel down to Arizona to visit our families. The wife and I come from Arizona, see. In fact, I am here right now. Also, every Saturday before labor day we head to northern Arizona for an epic band jam that takes place in the middle of the woods. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking you can rob my apartment right now? Guess who is staying there? My buddy who is 20 years military police and collects rifles. Seriously, stop by and say hello. I dare you.

2. What is your favorite Karaoke song (via Bug.)

stupid question. I don't do karaoke because I have a terrible singing voice. WHy do you ask me questions just to highlight my inadequacies? I hate you. See, now I am crying and I promised myself I wouldn't.

3. Do you fancy a hat?

yes, but strictly for utilitarian reasons. I am bald and live in a winter climate. Hats keep me warm.

4. Would you rather take a power drill in the Adam's apple or fill your pants with raw meat and kick a pit pull in the side?

Are you asking me out on a date? If you are, the answer is yes yes yes to both you sexy devil.

5. Since adolescence, in what three-year period do you feel you experienced the most personal growth and change?

college - what a huge and instant transition to adulthood. Thank god I lived at home for the year and in state for the rest. It was the best time ever, and I feel it was then that I became fully realized as an adult... or at least well on the way to one.

Monday, August 28

oh boo hoo!

Some high falutin' report came out today that says today's college kids are depressed and burdened. Boo hoo. If today's kids are suffering the college experience, they are getting it all wrong. Here is the deal with college: You finally got out of your parents house. You have no curfew. You are better looking and in better shape than you ever will be again. Girls are finally having sex with you. You can party like a rock star nightly. You finally get to choose what you are learning. Attendance is strictly voluntary. Someone just gave you a credit card.

What isn't to like here? It's all gravy!

Now, after college... there is reason for concern. You are deeply in debt. Deeply. You are starting to gain weight for the first time in your life. You have to get a job, and the pay isn't nearly what they promised in those brochures. The world is embroiled in total chaos, as usual. The people running the country (on your dollar) are inept criminals with no shame or remorse.

This is the time to deal with mortality. Not in college, though. College is for learning, drinking, screwing, and spending. Do it all, kids... and lots of it. You have the rest of your life to be mediocre and repressed. This is your best shot at total self expression. Don't blow it!