Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, August 6

Friday Fives

1. Tell us a good bar story! ok, this is embarrassing... but what good bar story isn't. One time in Vegas I was drunk. Simple enough story, right? Well, it being a long day and all that drinking and heat... I got tired. So, decided to put my feet up to relax. No crime in that, eh? Well, I had put my feet up on the green felt of a gaming table. Right, that uh... didn't go over real well. It gets worse. When the security folks came over and asked me to take me feet down (a more than reasonable request), for some reason I called them 'white slavers' and 'oppressors'. They, quite wisely, kicked me out. 2. What are your favorite album covers of all time? Electric Ladyland (Hendrix)- Unforgettable Fire (u2) - Blind Faith (boobies!) - All Things Must Pass (George Harrison) - Physical Graffitti (Led Zep) - you have to experience the vinyl one. It was an interactive building where you could change the scenes in the windows. Also, the first 5 of so Dylan albums are all cool.

3. List your favorite insult! F*ck you! It is a classic! A timeless piece of portable hate that transcends both race and gender. Always there at the ready, a trusted companion. 4. You've got to "go away" for a while and you're only allowed to bring 5 movies on DVD. What would they be? Forrest Gump, U2 - Elevation Live (Boston, 2001), Blues Brothers (the new edition has 45 minutes added), Oceans 11, and Oceans 12 (which they are making now, will be out in Christmas). Now, about this 'going away'. Do you know something I do not? Are you trying to tell me something? Have you heard about my case? 5. What are some of the worst lyrics (lines or entire songs) in music history? Please cite examples. Rolling Stones - Honky Tonk Women 'She blew my nose and then she blew my mind'. There is nothing more to say about any other song. That is singlehandedly the worst piece of shit poetry ever committed to a page. I mean, there are many others... but this line keeps me up at night. ok, one more. This is from Motley Crue's first album (which is great. It is very aggressive, no glam yet). Anyhow, we think they are talking about sex here - 'Tight Action, Rear Traction, so hot you really blow me away'. The entire disc is full of 16 year old bad poetry like that, but it rocks unconditionally. via Roy

Tuesday, August 3

a great time to be a Cardinals fan

You all know that I am a big Broncos fan, well you know now anyway. Truth be told though, I grew up in Phoenix. Now, growing up we did not have a team... but we do now. Anyhow, this is the hallowed time of year that every football fan across the nation says to their buddies "This is gonnna be our year!". You know, it never is. Only two of those teams get to the big dance, and everyone else gets a broken heart. Us Broncos, we have some good talent... but let's be honest. We'll make it to first round play offs and that is about it. To make a point though, even San Diego fans are thinking big... and man do they suck! However, the beauty of being an Arizona Cardinals fan is that you know this won't be the year. Last year wasn't, and neither will next year. You know the team has no chance, so you sir are spared a broken heart. For that, we all owe Bill Bidwell a big thanks. There is no question that the team will be abysmal, thanks to the worst owner in all of sports. Sure, Al Davis of the Raiders is evil, but he fields a competetive team. Take a look at this google search. Until the Bidwells leave town or sell the team, the Cardinals will always be horrible. Heck, I know Broncos fans that are so hardcore they are looking at the plans for Superbowl because they know the Broncos will make it. No worries about Cardinal fans dreaming of anything but a team who doesn't suck.

Monday, August 2

in Defense of Kerry

Hey all, in response to this (a hatchet job on Kerry equating him as an enemy of the state for protesting) going around... I wrote this. Feel free to send it to your Republican friends. It is ok to admit, I have like 2 or 3 of them. No thanks. I am voting Democrat this year. Good luck on that whole 'Four More Wars' thing y'all have going. Instead I am voting for prosperity, diversity, progress, science, and accountability. I completely understand and respect if you all disagree with Kerry's postwar protest. However, who in the world is more qualified to protest a war than someone who served in it? Both Clinton and Bush dodged the draft and Kerry served. That makes a difference to me. As for public service, John Kerry has worked all of his life in public service... beginning with his time in Vietnam. George Bush worked as Governor and that is about it. 40 years of public service and three purple hearts just does not scream 'liberal commie' to me. It is ok if you don't want to vote for Kerry, or don't think he is qualified. Let's be honest though, a vote for Bush is a vote for big business - plain and simple. Now that is ok, because big business is the pillar of democracy. Without big business I wouldn't have a great house or a new car. Without big business I wouldn't be sitting in this comfy chair looking at a nice computer. Without big business I'd be digging ditches. I don't believe that they should be given free reign without accountability though. I have to make this last point. It is from Al Franken... don't freak out... just read it. Franken said "Republicans love America like it is a three year old who can do no wrong. Democrats love America like it is a teenager. We still love it unconditionally, but hold it responsible for its mistakes." I'll admit some stuff right here > John Kerry is ugly. I mean, he is scare your children ugly. So here is your voter cheat sheet: If you are afraid of gays, minorities, make over 200K a year, hate the environment, are ready to train your new replacement - Haji, and are stoked for 'four more wars' then you vote Republican. If you love calling Democrats 'tax and spend' while the current adminstration racks up the highest deficet in HISTORY - then vote Republican. If you really believe that Micheal Moore and people like me really hate America and are somehow working to weaken it through our initiatives - the also vote Repubican. The rest of you know what to do - thanks for your patience and time. Thanks for listening, and vote! No matter who you vote for... VOTE.