Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, March 5

Democrats are all about spending and Big Government, right?

Myths about Democrats - second in a series Good afternoon and thank you for stopping by. Today we are going to tackle another pesky myth about Democrats: they are about big government and have no fiscal responsibility. Short answer, bullshit. Now here comes the long answer - The Federal Government under Bill Clinton was the smallest it had been since President Kennedy. Here are some quotes from economists: never mind, I edited most of them out because they are dry and ruin the flow of the piece... but they are there. Try here. They say things like this: As a result, the surpluses of the 1990s have turned overnight into the largest deficits in history and the size of the national debt is expected to double by the beginning of the next decade. In a nutshell, the current president has racked up spending like NO ONE in history... and not because of defense solely. According to the new numbers, defense spending will have risen by about 34 percent since Bush came into office. But, at the same time, non-defense discretionary spending will have skyrocketed by almost 28 percent. So the president is on a drunken spending binge. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, because our economic system has always been working out of debt. But, right now the economy is still in the shitter. Did I mention I was laid off three times in the last two years? Write that down somewhere, because surely it will come up again. We are at war with pretty much anyone who will listen. Schools are suffering terribly because 'no child left behind' didn't leave a penny for education. The president is spending 150 Million to re-elect himself. I know some schools who could use that money. No biggie though, because we are getting to a bigger (and funnier, I promise) concern. Now that we know we have the worst deficit in history and it will only get much worse... what is our president's solution? Seriously, you guys are not going to believe this. How can we start being more fiscally responsible? Shall we re-asses our priorities and take a good look at cutting corners? Maybe clipping coupons for a few months? Maybe we should just eat in for a couple of weeks. Do we really need four HBO's? How about leftovers this weekend instead of Red Lobster, right? How about auctioning off the Dakota's to Canada? Oh no... this is how we tackle the recession and the deficit and the war on terror in one fell swoop - WE ARE GOING TO MARS. 12 Billion dollars will be dedicated to get us to Mars. Are you shitting me? Did he really just say we are going to Mars? He didn't, because two sentences before he said "reign in spending". Tell me he was kidding, I can take a joke! The environment is being destroyed and at the same time the polluters are being protected from 'frivolous lawsuits'. The schools have no money. We are at actively at war with at least two countries that I know of, and we are bankrupt. By the way, I do this as a service to you... the reader. I do this for free! You don't want to read the things I read, so I dumb them down for you. Wanna know what these eggheads say in these articles I reference? Stuff like this > Luckily for Gore, the reinventors outnumbered the devolvers in the Pew sample by a margin of two-and-a-half to one. (editors note: Yes, they are all virgins) In conclusion, the mythos of Democrats being 'tax and spend liberals' is clearly and slanderously false. So... Mars, huh? Do you think they have any call centers? Because if they don't I am fucked.

Friday Fives

What was... 1. ...your first grade teacher's name? Mrs Anderson 2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? Scooby Doo 3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Brian 4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? anything sugary 5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? Scooby Doo via Friday Fives.

Wednesday, March 3

Will a Democrat be tough on terror?

Myths about Democrats - first in a series So let's answer Captain Zero (and America's) concern. The concern is that a Democrat would be soft on terror and crime. I think this is crap. First off, Clinton put more cops on the street and lowered the crime rate considerably during his tenure. As for being soft on terror, let's be specific about the 'white elephant' in the room. The terror we are talking about is insano fundamentalist Muslims. So, will a Democrat be soft on radical Islamics? I don't think so. After 9/11 it is safe to say that we won't take shit from anybody because we all learned the hard way. Also, terror is too vague a word. The president is tough on terrorism! Well, no shit! Nobody likes terrorism - that is obvious, and to wage a war against terrorism is pandering. It also implies that anyone who isn't the president is implicitly NOT against terrorism. Clever, but false. Why not have a campaign mantra that says "I like puppies, and sunny days, and will be tough on those who oppose them"? So if Islam is at the heart of terrorism (and no, I am not making the analogy that all Muslims are terrorists. That would be both stupid and racist) then we need to take a look at our relationship with Islamic nations. The problem is, Islamic nations are where we get all of our oil. Oil is very important to our lives, we can't pretend that it isn't. Unfortunately, because of our oil dependency we have to call nations like Saudi Arabia our allies. It's not unlike how a cocaine addict has to deal with his dealer and all his cats. Unpleasureable to be sure, but a necessity. Now I am not calling for an and to oil dependency. Though that would be nice, it is not a real alternative in the short term. Right now we need to accept that we MUST have oil... and hold those accountable to provide it for us. They are not our allies. For example, though I can't stand all his cats... I was able to get my coke dealer to stop calling me 'assmunch' every time I came over. I explained "Mr. Elway, I am basically paying your rent... so at least stop calling me assmunch!" The Saudi government is repressive and I feel directly involved in terrorism because of our support of Israel (the jews) in the middle east. Saudi Arabia produced 15 of the 17 hijackers. The hijackers had nothing to do with either Iraq or Afghanistan - they were all Saudis. We like the Saudis because they have lots of oil and are willing to sell it to us. However, we need to be very weary of them in my opinion, and get them to stop calling us 'Assmunch'! So who will stand up to big oil? Well, not a president whose whole family is in the oil industry that is for sure. Now I am not making accusation of us inadvertently supporting 9/11 - but financially we support the Saudis. We bankroll their economy, and the Saudis are the terrorists we are concerned with. Needless to say, much more to come on all this. Please note going forward that rebuttals will be dealt with severely, Captain Zero (if that is your real name).

Tuesday, March 2

Offshoring: an opposing view

In the interest of fairness to my reader, here is another perspective on Offshoring that is far from the 'sky is falling' type stuff that I have been feeding you. He states basically that Offshoring is part of a natural business cycle, and that the money these companies save comes back to us... and the money these companies make also comes back to us in taxes. Anyhow, there is some virtue to his points... except that he is still employed - which makes him a windbag.

We can win this presidency

It just occurred to me yesterday, we can beat Bush out of office. Now, lets begin by looking at the last election - Al Gore received more votes. The tallies range from 662 more votes in Florida to estimations that he won the whole country by 500,000 votes We know this, and I don't even think a Republican would argue that. So, if everything were exactly the same as last time... one has to assume the Democrat will win. Now, the country has lost 2 million jobs since then... trust me, because I lost 3 of them personally due to outsourcing... and specifically 'Offshoring'. So if we look conservatively we could say a third of those might have voted Republican that wouldn't now... which makes 700,000 more votes for the democrat. Also, Sen Kerry actually fought in vietnam instead of weaseling out like Bush and Clinton... so dude is a war hero. So, barring Osame bin Laden being caught... we can win this election and get to fixing the destruction that asshat has done to our country and our international relations.