Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, February 2

Friday Fives

1. What is your preferred trusted news source?

CNN, I am friggin' addicted to CNN. I check it almost hourly.

2. What is a news source that you will never trust?

Lyin' Larry. That guy is a total dick.

3. What is the news topic during the last calendar year that you feel got the worst coverage?

The worst coverage? Well, I feel gypped that Dan Rather got run out of television after 30 years on TV because he had questionable sources about the President's military service. However, when the President got caught being COMPLETELY wrong in every aspect about Iraq having nukes someone didn't even make it to the evening news. The next person who says the media is liberal needs to be stabbed in the throat.

4. What news item do you feel got too much coverage in the last calendar year?

Up until the Broncos spanked the heinies of the Patriots on National TV, I got awful sick of hearing how dreamy Tom Brady is. What shut that pretty little face up, now didn't we. Actually, Brady is a decent human. However, I know he is Republican so I like to kick him when he is down.

5. If you had complete control of your favored news source(s) (answer to question 1), what would you do with it that is not already being done?

less clutter - more content. Between the adds and the graphics it is out of control. Know how a news site should look? Just like this. It is a wonder you are getting your news from anywhere else, because you shouldn't be.

Thanks to Roy, now get out there and have a good weekend.

Tuesday, January 31

on Jesse Jackson *freshly edited, fact checked, and sourced

There is a line from a Kanye West song that goes like this: I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke niggas.

Somehow that makes me think of Jesse Jackson. I have had a Jesse Jackson piece rumbling around my head for the past several months (nay, years). Then, I thought, why not for Black History Month? See, Black History month to me is an oppotunity to point out some really terrific and influencial black folks, and their contributions. Also, I figured it could be an opportunity to call out some who suck ass. Jesse Jackson sucks ass!

Why? Well, there are many reasons to dislike him. See, he was been threatening companies with a very public black boycott if they didn't donate money to his Rainbow PUSH coalition. That is illegal and immoral, see. That ain't what was so bad, though. It turned out that money was going to a house for Jesse's gal on the side... and their lovechild. Nice touch. Still that ain't why I hate him. Of course, he had that classic antisemitic moment, while running for President, of calling New York City 'Himey Town'

I hate him because of Hurricane Katrina. See, here is what I saw happen. New Orleans was under water and people were working feverishly to rescue folks off of roofs and stuff. Things were still really bad, and about to get worse. People were still on roofs, still being found dead, still really really really needing help. In the middle of all of this, Jesse flies down and has a press conference. Jesse goes all Kanye West and says 'the president hates black people'. Well, no duh.

What cheeses me off is what he should have said and done. Dude should have said "turn off that camera and grab a sandbag. My god, people are dying all around us. This is no time for politics, come help!" But he didn't. What an asshole. I mean, if he wanted to have a press confernce he could have done that from home. Instead, he raced to the scene of the worst natural disaster in the history of America to talk shit about the president. What a jerk. How about criticizing the President and FEMA after people are out of danger? For that, I will never forgive him. He took a horrible situation, didn't lift a finger to fix it, and then rushed to criticize those around him.

What George Bush and Mike Brown should have done is held a press conference saying: "alright Jesse, you are down there now. Tell us what to do and what needs to be done to save these people?". Of course, we all know what Jesse would have said - 'send more news cameras'. It is ok that you are racist Jesse, you probably have plenty of reason to be. However, don't ride on the corpses of poor black folk to get on TV for a few minutes. You are dead to me.

Monday, January 30

How to read the news

In these days of Jayson Blair and that other guy who they made a movie about (ed. note: Stephen Glass) you can't trust what you read in the media. With Black History Month upon us, it is important to know the white dominated media is sending a message of fear and consumerism... which are carefully linked. It's totally true, this old hippie explained the whole thing to me one night when we were all on acid and it made sense.

That being said, you must learn to read between the lines. Here is an example: This is from today's
Lindsay Lohan was taken to a London hospital on Friday after an accident at singer Bryan Adams' mansion, Access Hollywood has learned. Lindsay was having tea after just getting out of the shower when she apparently dropped the ceramic teacup, which shattered and cut a gash on her shin. The actress reportedly required 10 stitches but is now doing fine, according to her spokesperson.
If you believe a word of that, you are a tool. Lindsay was having tea after just getting out of the showed and dropped the ceramic cup which gashed her leg. There is so much I have a problem with here. First off, are they talking about Bryan Adams that Canadian hoser from the 80's who sang 'Summer of 69'? Dude is probably about 45 now, and Ms Lohan is 19. So, she shouldn't be there. Second, what is she doing showering there? It's not my business, but it is a bit creepy.

Here is where the lies start. Why do the mention the shower at all? It is as if to imply that she walked out of the shower nekkid onto a very slippery tile bathroom floor. At exactly this moment, someone handed her a scalding hot cup of tea. WTF? What is anyone doing in the bathroom with her, she is a child (an extremely sexy one, but a child nonetheless). Couldn't the tea have waited until maybe she dried off and threw on a robe?

Me thinks something went down like this: Ms Lohan was all coked up after a three day bender and blacked out in the shower. As she fell, she knocked the soap dish loose in the shower which crashed down and sliced her leg. I have run the whole shower scenario fantasy/scenario through my head hundreds of times today (I mean, just for scientific accuracy) and the whole thing plays out well.