Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Saturday, September 11

F*ck Wal-Mart

Sorry y'all. You how remiss I am to swear like that, and I am sorry you had to hear. However, it needed to be said in no uncertain terms. We know that Wal Mart tends to be a little on the politically inconsiderate side... and is a tad exploitive of their workers. For many of these reasons, we do not shop there at all. However, new news from CNN says that the good people of Wal Mart are building a store outside the ruins of Teotihuacan, Mexico. This is where the greatest pyramids of the Western world still sit today. See some pictures here, and here. Heck, let CNN tell it:
The Teotihuacan construction site lies less than a mile (1.6 km) from the gated tourist park housing the main ruins and is visible from atop the Pyramid of the Sun that has defined the skyline for 2,000 years.
Oh, here is a little bonus for the thoughtful folks from Benton, they are building on a native holy site:
Amid rising controversy, Mexico's government this month said a small pre-Hispanic altar was found buried at the construction site. Plans call for preserving the small structure under plexiglass in what will be the store's parking lot.
Now, maybe the suits at Wal Mart don't watch Scooby Doo like I do... daily. Let me tell you this, no good can from building on the shrines and ruins of a dead civilization that celebrated human sacrifice to the gods. This will be your undoing, Wal Mart, and the karma you suffer will be much stronger than old man McGinty in an old Halloween costume scaring the kids. I make this a formal call to all to boycott Wal Mart, and that means Sam's Club too. * a forward answer to my critics, who will surely say 'This is intellectual mumbo jumbo against an easy target from a guy who can afford to spend more' - to them I answer firmly "um... yes!". See that? We are a full service media clearinghouse of thoughts and ideas.

Friday, September 10

Friday Fives

1) Of everything in your wardrobe what do you feel the most comfortable wearing? Why? blue jeans 2) How would you describe your style? I wouldn't call it a style. Maybe... gap for lazy guys? 3) How many pairs of shoes do you own and do you wear them all? I think I have six or seven pairs. I do not even come close to wearing all of them. I basically wear the same pair of very comfortable Merrrels everywhere always. The reason being (besides my poor fashion sense) I have jacked up feet and have to wear orthodics. Orthodics are plastic feet plate thingies that go in the shoe to help me walk right. They fit best in the Merrels. 4) Where do you buy most of your clothes? Castle Rock outlet stores. I used to love Old Navy because their clothes are so cheap. That is for a reason. Everything I have bought there has fallen apart, their clothes are shit. 5) What was the last piece of clothing you bought? some cool dark green pants and a bitchin' purple shirt that is very subtle.

Thursday, September 9

I finally got polled!

CBS called me tonight and polled me about the presidential election. It was an interesting and bizarrely thorough 10 or 15 minutes on the phone. I thought you might be interested. Amongst the obvious questions the nice lady asked me were
  • are you registered to vote
  • are you sure you are registered to vote
  • are you positive you are registered to vote (seriously, she asked me three times)
  • do you feel the economy is doing well
  • who is leading the country in the right direction
  • who do you trust more
  • what issue is central to you in this election
  • who will you vote for
these were (to me) normal questions. I answered them all honestly, stoked that someone was finally asking my opinion. Then, they asked these questions
  • who seems more likeable
  • who would you rather go to a baseball game with
  • who would you rather have as a room mate
  • who would you rather have as a boss
  • who do you think is a nicer person
I declined to answer these questions because I really don't feel they contribute to the dialogue. they asked me my race and age of course, and one final question which I also refused to answer... my religion.
the reason being, I don't want to paint atheists as being any one thing or the other. I won't tell you my answers to any of those questions because they are none of your business, and you should think for yourself. However... if you have read a single word I have ever written... you probably have a good idea how I answered those questions. The results of the poll will be released from CBS and MTV on September 20th. You are hopefully noting now, that this is about two weeks away. So, when we see a poll today... is it two weeks old? Dunno.

Wednesday, September 8

Did I just hear that right?

Hey all, I have been pretty busy researching the big social issues you come here for. So, after an exhaustive google image search looking for nekkid pictures of Laura san Giacomo... I came across this little gem. I am not sure what it means, and it isn't even worth the effort to twist the words into some agenda rant from myself. So, please put your seatbelts on and read the following unedited quote from our president:
Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country,
really? Wow, and I was feeling kinda dirty about the whole Sheryl Crow thing*. I feel much better now. She is hot, I hope she doesn't see an OB-GYN! *Hey, don't you people turn on me now. I spent hours re-reading the goddamn constitution for you, putting together relevant and factual social commentary for you! A guy needs a break now and again. Please, don't act like you aren't looking at p0rn either!

Tuesday, September 7

Florida needs a hurricane tax

At the risk of looking like the insensitive bastard I am... I have a great idea. The cost of the last hurricane that hit Florida (Charley) is going to be 'At least 3 billion dollars'. That's a lot of orange juice my friend, and we will all be expected to pay for it. The thing is, if you live in Florida you WILL be hit with hurricanes. It is a mathematic fact. So, I propose that Florida add a 1% sales tax to all sales to put into a rainy day hurricane fund. What this means is this: if their sales tax is 6%, then a $1.00 candy bar will cost $1.06 - my suggestion is that said candy bar will now cost $1.07. I was going to say the same could apply for people who build in 'tornado alley', but screw them. They are doomed and nothing can assist them. This is already happening, so I am not insane. I live in a '100 year flood plain'. This means if the storm of the century hits, my house could have flood damage. As a result, I have to pay higher premiums. Guess what, I have lived through 2 blizzards and a tornado at my house... and no flooding yet. Well, you can either charge every single home owner in Florida the entire value of their house... or use my tax system. Ok, I change my mind. I think we should help businesses get back on their feet... but I am not rebuilding a single house. In Boulder, when they used to riot twice a year, it got to be so expensive for the city to constantly rebuild that they were considering a riot tax on CSU student. I mean, in Northern California they have strict building codes for earthquakes. Well Florida, it is time to start building hurricane proof structures. This is frankly an insensitive time to tell Florida to 'sit on it', because Ivan is bearing down on them... and it will be three hurricanes in three weeks. I do feel bad about that. Hey, at least Ivan won't cost much for damage when it arrives because Charley and Frances already broke everything! We call that newsroom humor, folks and I am still laughing.