The Hockey Strike

Well, I am finally ready to discuss the hockey strike. It has taken me some time to post this because I don't care much about hockey, and care less when pro-athletes strike. Here is the deal, I bet that salaries are out of control, and I bet both sides do have reasonable complaints. I don't care - screw them! Screw the owners and the players and the fans, if they are willing to tolerate this. So, as I often do, I will make an analogy. I just found out my boss makes way more money than I do. Also, you wouldn't believe how much the company is making - off MY labor. So I have decided to strike my cushy office job. No more sitting here and reading CNN like a total chump. Nope, I'll be outside in the cold walking for 8 hours a day with my sign. That'll learn 'em! WRONG - They brought me in with the expectations of what and how I would be compensated. I had the opportunity to walk right then. I also had the opportunity to say "yeah, well how much to you make?" Now I am sure it is more complicated than that... but I have no respect for people who are making millions doing what they love - and complaining. Both my employer and I are doing quite well, so why stir the pot? So I could make more? After three lay-offs I am just happy for a job. Wanna know a secret? For what I do, my company frankly overpays me. You don't hear that often, do you? It's true, so I am a grateful and loyal employee. Plus, I got a whole garage of cell phones and lawnmowers I could sell you really cheap. Don't worry, I filed the serial numbers off the lawn mowers. These babies are clear for customs, if you know what I mean.

Friday Fives

1] Are you a spontaneous person, a planner, or somewhere in-between? Have you ever gone on a spur-of-the-moment road trip or vacation? When, and did you have fun? as for vacations, I am a planner now. With the corporate job and wanting to save money and all, we pretty much plan to the 'T'. For example, we have 2005 completely planned out for vacations, and it is gonnna be rad! However, in college I was much more free. I have taken multiple trips to California for days with only minutes or days warning. I remember an evening right after we got off school for a week for spring break (college at NAU). For some random reason that was not uncharacteristic, I had a band set up in my family room. I play guitar see, and we brought in a drummer and the workds. Mikey DiPrima knocks on my door and tells me he is going to San Diego for a week, and did I want to join. I did. I was out of the building within 15 minutes, leaving MY apartment to these dudes who had instruments and needed a place to play. It worked out great, Pat even did the dishes while I was gone. 2] Are you a hockey fan, and what are doing in the absence of the Avalanche? Do you watch a lot of sports on TV? What is your favorite sports watching food? I won't even begin to get into the whole hockey strike thing. Let me tell you this though, I live and die for the NFL on Sunday. It is the only sport I watch, and it is the greatest one in the world. As for sports watching food, I have two dishes I do. One is an amazing Chili I make from scratch (which means the first ingredients go in at 9 am, but no one eats until 4 pm) and the other is my world famous Artichoke cream spinach dip baked into a loaf of hollowed out of Sheepherders Bread. 3] If someone gave you $25 right now and said that you had to spend it within the hour, what would you buy and why? The first thing I would buy is the Velvet Revolver CD. That is the band with the guys from Guns & Roses playing with the singer (Scott Weiland) of Stone Temple Pilots. I have only heard two songs off of it but it sounds powerful and awesome. Also, I understand first edition CD jewel boxes come with an 8 ball of blow and an actual sealed arrest warrant for Scott Weiland on failure to appear for narcotics charges. Apparently these are plentiful in Los Angeles. 4] Name three things that you're looking forward to in the near future and why. near future in the traditional sense has been crushed. It is about the President thing and it is far too late to have that talk now. I should be sleeping already. Sorry, I got off topic. This weekend I am looking forward to seeing Wilco at the Fillmore. Am also still waiting for that penis pump. Oh, don't like you aren't! Also, we have the usual Bronco game Sunday at 2 pm. 5] Do you know any foreign languages? Which ones? If you could become fluent in any language [writing and speaking it], which one would you pick and why? yes, Spanish... and I can speak it conversationally well (which is a big notch below fluent). If I could learn any language in the world, it would be to learn Spanish better. There is no better place, or people, on the planet than those of Mexico. It is where my heart belongs, and it is where I will one day retire. As always, this goodness and strangenes come from Roy.

I was wrong

There it is America, right at the top of the page. I was wrong about the election. It won't be there long, I intend on going to being right about everything pretty soon. So enjoy it. For you, I will eat some humble pie.

Thoughts on the Election

To quote a line, it looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue. I am heartbroken, angry, and confused. I can't possibly imagine how a single thinking sentient being could have selected Bush, but you did. To be honest, at least he did it fair and square this time. I have lost all respect for Americans. Here it is, and I am writing it down to be held against me at a later date - today I am ashamed to be an American. How terrible is that? Pretty terrible, but the world hates us now for sure. That means a lot to me. I am fond of the world, and think it might make a good ally one day. I'm no Fonzie though, I can say it: I was wrong. I was wrong about the election, about Ohio, and about the youth vote. For today, and today only, I will drape a banner over the title of the page and we'll just call it "Man on man, was I wrong!" It's not you I am angry at, dear reader. Wait, yes it is. It is exactly and specifically YOU. How could you let this happen? How could you vote for this fucker? You got the president you deserve.

Election Day and the cell phones

Congratulations reader, we made it to election day. You probably know that the They of the world say the election will be a dead heat and drag on for months. Here is why they are wrong. For whatever reason, and I am sure you have heard this, cell phone users are not being polled. There are over 100 million cell phones active in America today, I know... I am in the business. Well, just this weekend it finally occurred to someone to take the pulse of the cell phone users of America. As you may have surmised, they are overwhelmingly Democrat (young, mobile, educated, and aware... who else would they choose). Specifically the numbers of cell phone users (just released Monday) are 55% for Senator Kerry vs 40% for President Bush. In the world of politics, that is a landslide. Oh, the other 5% were typing emoticons into their responses when they crashed their car into a tree. Now, the numbers can be used however you want. I am going to give my assessment, being as though 'I am Correct' and all. Grab a pen, and follow along. The average poll released contains roughly 1200 participants every time. In order to get 1200 participants, the average of people who have to be called is 10,000. This is not arbitrary info folks, because

1. this statistic comes straight from the mouth of master pollster John Zogby, and
2. I wanted to see if I could toss off 'arbitrary' and sound smart. Someone look that one up and tell me how I did.

Let's be super conservative (a phrase not often uttered here) and say just 10% of those people vote as they did in responding to the cell phone poll. Knowing as we do that somewhere between 5% and 15% of Americans have no landline at all... I think 10% is a fair number. On a side note, Mark Twain taught us there are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics. So we have at least 10 million votes no one has accounted for. Six out of ten of these votes will go to Kerry. That is 6 million more Kerry supporters than are being counted now, and two million Kerry votes not being counted until tomorrow night. Also, in polls, people who didn't vote in the last election are not counted. That is the 'likely voter' clause you see in the polls. So, we are also not counting anyone young basically. long, boring, but passionate, story short... I feel confident and hopeful that Senator Kerry will win today. I do mean today. I hope to know who the president will be before I go to bed. So do vote today. Know that your vote counts. Here is why: if you are a Dem, let's show those bastards a true mandate from the people for change. I am talking about a Kerry in a Landslide. If you are a Repub, your dude is going to lose big time if you don't get out there and vote. I am hoping that your dude is going to lose big time regardless, but only your vote can make otherwise happen. If you are a Repub, you really need to be out there early intimidating blacks and harassing other minorities. No matter what or who, I don't want to spend the next 3 months arguing and listening to lawsuits and all that jibba jabba. We have ALL had too much of this election. Vote today and let's get it behind us. One last thing, have fun standing in line in the freezing cold for Democracy, chumps... I voted weeks ago.