Attention Dudes*

Do not date this woman. Do not have sex with her, smile at her, or ever buy her a drink.

This is Julia Lynch. Julia is attractive, young, smart, and successful. What's not to like? Well, in Seinfeld terms... she is a bad breaker-upper.

She has had her last two boyfriends committed to mental hospitals.

The last guy was pulled out of work by cops and forceably restrained and taken away because they believed he was a danger to himself. You can read the story here, because hopefully you don't believe me. Stories like this are why god gave me a blog.

I mean, just look at that smile? Julia is in jail on an extremely serious charge, and could lose her medical license. Does she look traumatized, scared, or remorseful? This chick is three kinds of nuts. One must truly, truly appreciate Julia's creativity as a scorned babe, though.

As a writer and observer of the absurd, I say Huzzah to Julia!

Friday Fives

1. Do you have problems sleeping?

No, quite the opposite. I have problems getting up.

2. What was the last dare you accepted?

Carlos dared me to eat a jalapeno. I did it. Generally speaking, though, I am not much on dares. Two reasons: doing something that can kill you for the sake of bravado is retarded. Secondly (and most importantly)... I am a pussy.

3. Would you rather . . . Smoke 100 cigarettes nasally - or - tongue clean 10 blocks worth of New York City public phone mouth pieces? (via "Would You Rather . . . ?" by Justin Heimberg and David Gomberg. )

Funny you should ask, as I am nasally smoking two ciggies right now. So, I think that answers your question.

4. Are you free with your feelings?

Yes, I an am open book pretty much.

5. Tell us a lie:

I am prompt

Death to Rush

Did you hear about the Michael J Fox Rush Limbaugh controversy? Fox (we'll call them just 'Fox' & 'Rush' going forward because it is too much trouble to type out either full name) did a commercial for a Democratic candidate explaining he endorsed them because they support stem cell research. Stem cell research has the potential ability to save millions of lives, and possibly end the debilitating disease of Parkinsons. You may remember that Fox has Parkinsons, and that is why he dropped out of acting a few years ago. So, Fox is qualified to discuss the subject... and has worked hard to bring visibility to the cause.

So, Rush sees this commercial and accuses Fox of hyping up and exaggerating his condition. Since Rush is not a medical doctor... let's look at his criteria to judge drugs and conditions. There is too much, so just read this piece from two years ago. It is a piece I did on the history of Rush saying drug users should be deported and/or left to die. My article was spurred by Rush getting arrested for illegal drug abuse. Anyhow, that is just background on Rush. Now Rush says Fox is vamping up his disease to sway votes. Really Rush? Can you imagine anyone with less credibility in this issue? Maybe my Grandfather was faking his Parkinson's too when I visited him on his death bed. Fuck you, Rush. My Grandfather has since passed away, or was he faking that too, Rush? Fuck you, Rush.

So, this scandal happened over a week ago. To be totally fair, unlike fat fucko the racist drug addict, I ran a google news search for the word combination 'Limbaugh apologizes'. Guess what, not one hit came up, and this search engine is updated to the minute. Dude doesn't even have the stones to admit he was wrong, epically insensitive, and a huge fat hypocrite racist drug addict. That being said, I repeat my initial concern - Fuck you, Rush.

Oh, and he is a racist too. That probably isn't a big shocker, but let's put all our laundry out now. For the love of god, people - vote on November 7th! How you vote and who you vote for is your business, but VOTE.