Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, November 14

Friday Fives

1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space.


2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer.

good, decent

3. Describe your favorite hobby/pasttime.

um... I love music. hearing it and playing it

4. Using four words, describe your typical day. early, work, home, good

5. Using four words, describe your ideal life.

living in the woods

John Lennon, arsonist?

ok, I was going through the archives as I plan on a huge cleanup of my once terrible HTML skills. As you have probably noticed, the archives thing on the left doesn't work right. Before I restore it, there are a lot of pieces (probably around 100) that need to be cleaned up aesthetically. While I work on that, here is a gem from back in 2003 Was John Lennon an arsonist? Well of course not. But did you know that happy little ditty 'Norwegian Wood' is about torching a girl's place? Let's take a look. We start when our protagonist, we'll call him John, hooks up with a girl and goes home with her
She showed me her room, isn't it good, Norweigan Wood. She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere.
So at this point he is sure is going to score.
We talked until two, and then she said, it's time for bed.
However, our hero John does not end up in her bed. Instead
I went off to sleep in the bath
Then it gets worse, when we wakes up, she is long gone
and, when I awoke I was alone, this bird has flown
So what does our boy Johnny do? Torches the place!
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, Norweigan Wood
Yeah, her prized furniture that she bragged about to him... burned baby.

Thursday, November 13

Beer and bacon save the day

This just in. Dark beer is good for you and there is no such thing as a 'beer belly'. and... Dr Atkins taught us that we can live of just meat and be healthy (of course, he is dead. That is why Roy and I are going on the Guiness and bacon diet. So if you find me lying face down in a pile of bacon grease and blind drunk... leave me there. It means the diet is working. When you find me drunk at work, again... the diet is working.

Wednesday, November 12

Rush Limbaugh - the hypocrite returns

Rush is a big stinky piece of crap, and those are my feelings before the whole ESPN scandal and drug problem. Now I am not the first person to think he only inspires hate and miscommunication amongst people. So instead of hearing me tell you what a dick he is, let's hear what Rush has to say. Upon his return to radio let's reflect on some great Rush dialogue regarding drug users:

"We're going to let you destroy your life. We're going to make it easy and then all of us who accept the responsibilities of life and don't destroy our lives on drugs, we'll pay for whatever messes you get into." -- Rush Limbaugh show, Dec. 9, 1993

"I'm appalled at people who simply want to look at all this abhorrent behavior and say people are going to do drugs anyway let's legalize it. It's a dumb idea. It's a rotten idea and those who are for it are purely 100 percent selfish." -- Rush Limbaugh show, Dec 9, 1993

"If (Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders) wants to legalize drugs, send the people who want to do drugs to London and Zurich, and let's be rid of them. -- Rush Limbaugh show, Dec 9, 1993

"There's nothing good about drug use. We know it. It destroys individuals. It destroys families. Drug use destroys societies. Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country. And we have laws against selling drugs, pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs. And the laws are good because we know what happens to people in societies and neighborhoods which become consumed by them. And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up.

"What this says to me is that too many whites are getting away with drug use. Too many whites are getting away with drug sales. Too many whites are getting away with trafficking in this stuff. The answer to this disparity is not to start letting people out of jail because we're not putting others in jail who are breaking the law. The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them and send them up the river, too." -- Rush Limbaugh show, Oct. 5, 1995

Monday, November 10

Welcome to my world

Welcome to my views. What will follow will be far from either fair or balanced. You will get to take a very funny adventure through my perspective on things. Big hint here, I don't like Republicans and they will rarely if ever be given a fair shake here. Here are some themes that might develop over time: Conservatives are bad , rock and roll is good. I recommend if you want something smart and insightful you jump to Roy's blog. If you want funny and vindictive, this may be your place. All the links to the left are liberal tested and Lo noapproved. Please have fun and leave some comments behind. Our staff is trained to handle levels of sarcasm and wit unparralleled in your life. Know that our tagline 'more about me, less about you' is an homage to my wonderful brother Johnny. He should received credit for that one, as it is clear narcissism runs deep in our blood.

Sunday, November 9

You are not still using Blockbuster are you?

Seriously, you have to stop. They are evil, frankly. I stopped using them about three years ago when I discovered Netflix. Netflix is superior for many reasons, chief amongst them is the idea of no late fees. Another is the idea that the whole thing transpires by mail. You get your DVD rentals in the mail, and the same envelope acts as your return... postage included. Mostly I am frustrated because my staff broke down today and used. Blockbuster for a rental. They found a three year old 'extended viewing fee' (which is bullshit speak for late charges) and proceeded to hold up the 20 people behind me while they figured out how to handle and process it. $4.62 because I returned a movie an hour late, three years ago. Way to hold a grudge, guys. Speaking of grudges, because I am that petty, it is my goal not just to not use Blockbuster... but to stop you from using them too. By the way, there are other folks in the online mail rental business. Wal Mart for one also offers this, but does Wal Mart really need anymore of our money? My staff noticed someting else today at Blockbuster. They are all involved in censorship too.