Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, August 4

Friday Fives

1. Are you named after anyone? If so, explain.

Yes, I am named after myself. That is how important I am.

2. Do you have your children’s names picked out already? If so, is there any significance?

Not yet. Edward and John are important and consistant names in our family, so those would be a logical choice for a boy. If it's a girl? I don't want it.

3. If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name have been?

Lona

4. If you could re-name yourself what name would you pick and why?

You know, when I was younger I totally didn't like my name (Kevin). Now, I dig it and would have no other name. I am that important.

5. Are there any mispronunciations/typos that people do w/ your name constantly?

Nope, there is no question as to my name or how it is spelled. Interesting story about the etymology of it - it means 'Correct'. Weird, huh?

Monday, July 31

Who is the worst?

I bet sometimes you get mad at your parents. I bet when you were younger you thought you had the worst parents in history. You were wrong, your parents did great. Some of you may have children, and fear perhaps that you may be the worst parent in history. You are not. You are doing terrifically! You may think Michael Jackson is the worst parent in history. While being quite close, even he is not the worlds most horrible parent.

If I have done my job correctly, you are probably asking yourself 'but who, who damnit?'. Joe Simpson, the father of hottie half wit Jessica Simpson. Why? Read this quote from him:
“She just is sexy,” Joe Simpson once said. “If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double Ds! You can't cover those suckers up!”

If you said 'Eeewwwww', then you are on target. Now, don't you feel better about the job your parents did on you? At least they didn't have a press conference to announce how sweet your ta ta's are.