Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, May 14

Friday Fives

1. You've just won a complete collection of movies starring one actor - what actor would you pick?

Interesting question. Several actors come to mind, Tom Hanks (but then I already own his two best). So I would jump to John Cusack. Yeah, it would be either John Cusack or Johnny Depp.

2. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?

Kill Bill 2. I very very rarely see a movie in a theatre. Why pay $20 for me and my wife when I can wait 3 months and own it for less? Plus, if I watch it at home I can drink beer... and I have a theatre surround audio system which rocks. But for the big stuff, like Lord of the Rings... you have to see those in a theatre.

3. What was the last video or DVD that you bought?

Breakfast with Hunter, it is a great indy documentary on Hunter Thompson. You may or may not know I am bit obsessed with the good doctor. Generally speaking though, I only buy music and concert DVDs... because movies I watch once or twice then I am done with them.

4. What movie could you watch over and over again and not get sick of?

The Princess Bride, it's a wonder I am not watching it right now. They released a new double disc one (Special Edition - I know they always use that expression... but this time they mean it) that has all kinds of documentaries and interviews with the cast looking back.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?

Tiling. My first attempt ever at tiling, and then there is a wedding Satuday night. I hope the lucky couple has grout on their registry... cause that's what their gettin!

Thursday, May 13

a conversation with our Thousandth

We found him! Our one thousandth reader, and it was an unlikely 'fan' of the site. It is White House spokesman Scott McLelland. He joins us this afternoon for a little chat. Welcome Scott, what do you think of our little site? Well, everything is see is lies and slander. Contrary to your little world, polling shows us that this is not the kind of discourse Americans are interested in. So, you feel our site is about lies? I never said that. That is a distortion characteristic of your journalistic style and lack of ethics. So then, you are accusing me of lying about you being a liar... by definition then you calling me a liar? We never said that. You have taken the information out of context (again). What I said about your site is that I question the veracity of your 'information'. My intern tells me that actually most of your hyperlink reference sources go to a picture of a monkey typing. That is hardly 'Elavating Social Discourse' as your site claims. There seems to be some hostility here, so let's just cut this short with one last question. Is there anything you would like to communicate to our readers on behalf of the administration? Yes, there is a lot we could talk about and I think your readers would be interested to know. However, if history is any indication you will simply misquote me and distort our good intentions. On a note of relief for all of us, it is clear that your target demographic doesn't vote... so say whatever the hell you want. * epilogue. I recorded the entire conversation with Mr McLelland this morning, and have archived it for you to hear here.

Coming soon, our 1,000th visitor to I am Correct

Dear reader, we are perhaps only minutes away from our 1,000 reader mark. When I began the counter last fall, I started with the number 1233 (my ATM pin code) so it looked like I had a vast readership. Well, today some lucky soul will be the 1,000th (is that a word? Well it is now) clicker. Sometime late Thursday we will feature a full interview and prize package for our own Thousandth! According to our webmaster, Jimmy (hey, bandwidth ain't free, complainey boy) Wilson... this is our 96th post. I like to call them 'pieces', but let's be frank - the first 4 or 5 months were crap. Stay warm, vote Democrat, and we'll talk soon.

Wednesday, May 12

The kids are alright

Too many of us are concerned that the next generation is shit. It has always been that way, since people freaked out about the long haired Beatles and Elvis' hips were banned from television. I come from gen x, for whatever that is worth. These kids today though, with their gangs, their Snoop Dougs, their guns, their internet, and that hip hop. There isn't a decent kid in the whole batch! A bunch of felons and degenerates, as my grandfather would say. You are going to let these kids run the world and pay into my social security? We are doomed, doomed I tell you. But, never start a sentence with a preposition. But, along comes this news. You think of gangs as illiterate hoodlums, don't you? Read this, turns out they are tomorrow's CEOs. "Using their home computers, the gangs traded insults in a profanity-laced chat room, then decided to fight, setting the time and the place over the Internet", Garland police officer Joe Harn said. Well kudos to these kids. If they have the means to have a PC in their home, and a comfort level with technology to use it as a tool for anything (even if it is brutality)... good on them! To me, this shows initiative, drive, and creativity to resolve conflict. If I were a parent, I'd be proud. This, of course, being one of many reasons I am not a parent. Pete Townshend was right!

This is weird

There was something strange about this spring. In my eight or nine years I have been in Colorado, something wasn't right about this month. Lesse, I have seen horribly unusual hot stretches, and of course freakish blizzards too (they called last years April storm a 'hundred year storm). I have seen hail storms that have unemployed entire car dealerships, and even watched a tornado (that I was in) from my back deck (I filmed the whole thing, pics are available here). So, what is so different about 2004? I am not moving anyone. That is it! I know that doesn't seem like much to you non pickup truck owners... but it is. Every single year I have owned a truck (which is about 9 years, I am on my third right now) I have helped someone move in the Spring. What is kooky is that every year it is always May. Apparenly everyone moves in May, which makes enough sense. Now, mind you, I don't mind moving anyone. First off, it gets me some much needed exercise. Second, it helps me mentally justify why in the world I have been driving a pick up truck to an office job for the last 10 years. Lastly, it doesn't hurt to have that over your friends heads. Lemme tell you, after moving everyone I have ever met in the last eight years, I got some major favors to call in should I need them. Also, in college I leaned heavily on my one friend who did have a truck, Sandy. This is because it seems I moved like every 4 months. Happily though, Sandy was usually my room-mate... so there are inate mooching priveldges built in... aren't there? Maybe that is why we stopped speaking. So in closing, everything is good. Everything is actually really great, with the exception of my lawn. My lawn is great, but I am beginning to realize I am spending more on the goddamn lawn than even hookers and HBO combined. Oh, don't act like you don't either... I've seen your water bill, pervert!

Sunday, May 9

You two, out of the water now

See this story from CNN. ROCHESTER, New York (AP) -- A couple has been ordered not to conceive any more children until the ones they already have are no longer in foster care. I think this is wonderful, and a very good start. Sometimes Darwin needs help getting some folks out of the gene pool, I consider this judge an honorary lifeguard. Oh yes, dear reader, I can hear your cries now "you can't let the government play god" and "what if the judge decided you shouldn't be here either". blah blah blah... To these people I say this "Roy, we'll talk about this later. You know I don't like to argue in front of the blog"