Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, May 11

Friday Fives

1. What make of car do you tend to like best?

make of car? Toyota. After that, anything Jap. Kind of car? Truck. I am crazy for trucks. My last five 'cars' have been trucks, and I just ordered another one yesterday.

2. What is the most memorable thing that has happened in in your car?

I have only had this truck for about a year, so I don't have many anecdotes. I guess maybe when I drove out of a Denver blizzard back in December to get to Phoenix. We were set to fly to Phoenix for Christmas but a blizzard closed down the airport for nearly a week.

My only chance to get to Phx was to drive through the blizzard, before the next one hit five days later. Fortunately, I have the biggest truck on the planet (F250, turbo diesel powerstroke) and so put that big bastard in four wheel drive and headed out the second the Governor opened our freeways back up.

3. What word best describes your driving style: Goofy, Calm, Aggressive?

probably aggressive, which I am super not proud of. I honestly work every day to be a more calm driver, but I can't stand people who are inattentive when they are driving.

4. What kind of road would you most enjoy driving on: A deserted city road late at night or the Autobahn?

neither. A dirt road heading up and around a mountain in the mountains... with a few beers in me. The woods are my happy place.

5. What’s your general philosophy on driving?

what any good General will tell you: the best defense is a good offense.

Monday, May 7

The Guiness Book

When I grew up, the Guiness Book of world records was a holy and revered thing. It was reserved for the upper echelons of endurance and skill. I think it may all be a croc. I was watching the Food Network last night, like I do every Sunday night at 11 pm. They were looking to set a Guiness world record for highest popcorn structure that looks like something. Someone did something in popcorn that was 16 feet, so they wanted to do something that was 19 feet.

Really, is that a necessary or pertinent record? I was reminded of this when I watched the pancake challenge two weeks ago (same time slot), and their dude had not only won the 'most pancakes made in an hour', but was also the record holder for running a marathon whilst flipping a pancake the whole time. Really? Is that last one really necessary or pertinent? They kinda seem to be handing these records out willy nilly.

See, there is a reason why popcorn didn't go to 19 feet before. There is a reason no one ran a marathon flipping a pancake before. No one cares. How about this? What is the Guiness Book of World Records record for still trying to use a chapstick way after it is clearly empty? What if I do that while walking around with three soup spoons in my pocket humming Billy Joel songs. Know what the record is for that? Guess what, there ain't one (I looked). Ergo, I am making a run at it. The Guiness folks haven't yet returned my calls, but expect to see me on the Food Network any day now, suckers!