Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Wednesday, May 12

This is weird

There was something strange about this spring. In my eight or nine years I have been in Colorado, something wasn't right about this month. Lesse, I have seen horribly unusual hot stretches, and of course freakish blizzards too (they called last years April storm a 'hundred year storm). I have seen hail storms that have unemployed entire car dealerships, and even watched a tornado (that I was in) from my back deck (I filmed the whole thing, pics are available here). So, what is so different about 2004? I am not moving anyone. That is it! I know that doesn't seem like much to you non pickup truck owners... but it is. Every single year I have owned a truck (which is about 9 years, I am on my third right now) I have helped someone move in the Spring. What is kooky is that every year it is always May. Apparenly everyone moves in May, which makes enough sense. Now, mind you, I don't mind moving anyone. First off, it gets me some much needed exercise. Second, it helps me mentally justify why in the world I have been driving a pick up truck to an office job for the last 10 years. Lastly, it doesn't hurt to have that over your friends heads. Lemme tell you, after moving everyone I have ever met in the last eight years, I got some major favors to call in should I need them. Also, in college I leaned heavily on my one friend who did have a truck, Sandy. This is because it seems I moved like every 4 months. Happily though, Sandy was usually my room-mate... so there are inate mooching priveldges built in... aren't there? Maybe that is why we stopped speaking. So in closing, everything is good. Everything is actually really great, with the exception of my lawn. My lawn is great, but I am beginning to realize I am spending more on the goddamn lawn than even hookers and HBO combined. Oh, don't act like you don't either... I've seen your water bill, pervert!


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