Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Wednesday, May 19

You must try this

Alright, it's been a while since I made my favorite dip... traditionally a football thing. It is a spinach artichoke cream type dip. It's the same thing every chain restaurant in the nation makes. Mine is about 100 times better, I swear to you. After scoping a bunch of recipes from around the internet... I ditched them all and I developed my own from scratch. This dip is really good, and will cost you about $6 to buy everything ($8, if you shop at Albertsons), and the presentation will impress the hell out of your friends... er, friend. Note the first two ingredients are really the key to the whole thing... and adjustable. As long as your mayo equals exactly your cream cheese, everything else is negotiable. The Baron's Artichoke & Spinach dip 1 cup mayo (generic is fine) 1 cup cream cheese (generic is fine, but don't buy light) 1 clove garlic minced 1 pinch kosher salt (trust me, table salt doesn't cut it for cooking) 1 pinch fresh cracked pepper (cracked pepper, the kind you have to grind) ΒΌ teaspoon fresh lemon juice (ok, I have one of the plastic lemon juice things - I don't' even know what is in there...) 1/3 cup frozen diced spinach (way easier to deal with than fresh Spinach) 2 tablespoons grated parm (or whatever white cheese you dig) 1 cup diced artichokes (marinated artichoke hearts, Costco) 1 loaf sheepherder's bread put oven at about 375 mix all the ingredients and stir stir stir in a metal dish (A say stir thrice because that cream cheese is a pain in the ass to deal with at first) It doesn't hurt to let the fixins sit overnight in the fridge so the flavors can co-mingle hollow out the sheepherder's loaf so it is like a bowl empty the dip mix into the bread bowl (saving the top you just took off. Put that in a baggy for later dippin'. The bread is infinitely better than chips for this) put the bread bowl filled with dip in the oven on a cookie sheet for about 30 minutes (until the peaks of the dip are brown and the dip is gently bubbling). Don't sweat this detail. Nothing needs to be cooked here, we are just heating it up and melting the cheese. Plus, it looks and tastes amazing when browned. Now go and impress the shit out of your friend. If you want a super bonus presentation tip... take some heirloom tomatoes from your garden (or your neighbors if necessary) and half them. Place the halves on top of the dip. Serve on a big plate with pieces of the top that you saved and tortilla chips scattered. Now, soak up the admiration and take credit for everything. When we get closer to fall football season, I'll turn you on to my award winning Chili. * Don't you microwave this. I am serious, If you want to microwave it just go to Chili's and order there you lazy bastard. You white bread corporate hack! Why are you such a robot? Just forget it, ok... you already broke my heart and missed the whole point of cooking altogether.


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