Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Tuesday, June 1

An Open Letter to Myself at 16

 

Dear 16 year old self. It is me, 32 year old self. I know you have a lot of questions, and I think you got the wrong impression initially. First off, we did not sell out. Why do you keep using that phrase, do you even know what it means? Have you ever done a damn thing that wasn't handed to you? You make me sick, get a job! Oh, that's right... you have always worked a job.

About the hair, yup it's gone. The good news is that truck is ours, pretty cool huh? No, I guess it is not a cool ass camper we can use to cruise the roads and be free. I don't much do drugs anymore, no reason to really. I know like it seems that we work a lot, but I can still sleep a good 12 hours in a row when prompted on a Sunday. Stop calling me 'bro', because it is kinda creepy.

You should know that we are married, but it is really cool. We live in Denver now, and Colorado rules. The woods are like Payson, but cover half the state. Plus, we have Red Rocks here. Adulthood is pretty cool, we go to parties and concerts a lot, and are going to see the Dead again next week. Pretty crazy, huh! Also, you should know that it is 2004 we all have flying cars and eat meals in pill forms. We all have personal robots, since they replaced the labor pool in the late 90's. Madonna is still around, and still hot... so that is good. One last thing, we did lose our virginity. So, stop worrying about that. Now take good care of your hair you little shit, and maybe we won't be in this boat next time we speak. best regards, your 32 year old self

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