Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Tuesday, September 7

Florida needs a hurricane tax

At the risk of looking like the insensitive bastard I am... I have a great idea. The cost of the last hurricane that hit Florida (Charley) is going to be 'At least 3 billion dollars'. That's a lot of orange juice my friend, and we will all be expected to pay for it. The thing is, if you live in Florida you WILL be hit with hurricanes. It is a mathematic fact. So, I propose that Florida add a 1% sales tax to all sales to put into a rainy day hurricane fund. What this means is this: if their sales tax is 6%, then a $1.00 candy bar will cost $1.06 - my suggestion is that said candy bar will now cost $1.07. I was going to say the same could apply for people who build in 'tornado alley', but screw them. They are doomed and nothing can assist them. This is already happening, so I am not insane. I live in a '100 year flood plain'. This means if the storm of the century hits, my house could have flood damage. As a result, I have to pay higher premiums. Guess what, I have lived through 2 blizzards and a tornado at my house... and no flooding yet. Well, you can either charge every single home owner in Florida the entire value of their house... or use my tax system. Ok, I change my mind. I think we should help businesses get back on their feet... but I am not rebuilding a single house. In Boulder, when they used to riot twice a year, it got to be so expensive for the city to constantly rebuild that they were considering a riot tax on CSU student. I mean, in Northern California they have strict building codes for earthquakes. Well Florida, it is time to start building hurricane proof structures. This is frankly an insensitive time to tell Florida to 'sit on it', because Ivan is bearing down on them... and it will be three hurricanes in three weeks. I do feel bad about that. Hey, at least Ivan won't cost much for damage when it arrives because Charley and Frances already broke everything! We call that newsroom humor, folks and I am still laughing.


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