Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, December 3

Friday Fives

1. Do you enjoy letter writing [as in snail mail]? When's the last time that you wrote someone a letter or a note? When's the last time that you received something in the mail from someone [not including regular stuff like bills, junk mail, etc.? No, I find it too much trouble. My handwriting is slow and almost impossible to read. It also hurts my hands after a bid, probably because I have no technique and basically just scrawl. Plus, I am quite addicted to the editing features that come with computers. I know y'all just think I am a writing genius who just spouts this stuff from nowhere. While that is true, it will under about an hours worth of editing before I publish it. Of course, by 'editing' I mean playing guitar and looking at nekkid girls online. The last time I received something in the mail that wasn't a bill (or these infernal catalogues) was a huge and generous care package of crappy washed up metal acts from my friends at Sanctuary records. I wrote about this a couple of pieces down. They were so enamored with my Maiden review (and wisely so) that they loaded me up. I was kinda hoping for cash... oh well. Free ain't bad at all! I got off track again, you asked when was the last time I wrote something by hand. It would be either a brief note to my wife because we work very different schedules right now (a note like, grab milk, see you tomorrow) or a pestering note to an employee. I have to right things like this all the time, "Timmy, please watch your schedule. This is your third late lunch break in 54 days." Really, I do. In fact, that is pretty much my job. I am a petty micromanager who squeezes joy from souls. Think Dilbert. Ah who am I kidding? I am a pretty great boss to work for. Who else let's everyone get high on Fridays? 2. Do you plan to send out holiday cards this year? Why/why not? Do you spend a lot of time on them? About how many holiday cards do you usually send each year? Yes, that is the plan. Now the trick is the execution. As I have oft complained here recently, re-flooring the kitchen has become all encompassing and is impacting every aspect of our lives since we used to cook every single night. It is done, and looks absolutely amazing. We also saved probably about 2 grand by doing it ourselves. Tonight (being late Thursday, mind you) I am going to see if I can coax the fridge out of the living room and into the kitchen myself. It took three of us to move it out... but I am a persistent bastard. Sorry, tangent alarm there. How many cards? I think we usually count on about 20. I send one to my mom, one to my dad, and 18 to human resource folks at work begging not to get laid off again. 3. Have you ever had a penpal? Where and when? How long did you write to them, or are you still in contact with them? What kinds of things did/do you talk about with them? How did your penpal relationship come about? um, not really. The closest thing I have come to a pen pal is a guy who found this blog and wrote because he agreed with my stance on our president being a fucknut. Now, those opinions aren't hard to come by, but this guy was from Belgium... so that was pretty exciting. We wrote back and forth for a few weeks, but I haven't heard from him in a while. So, of course I am like a 17 year old girl right now, thinking: did I smother him? Was I too needy? I should just play it cool right? He'll write back, no big deal. But what if he doesn't. I mean, it seems like we had such a great thing going. So, you get the idea on that one, eh? 4. Do you feel that you have good penmanship? Did you ever have to take a handwriting class in school? Do you prefer typing letters or writing them by hand? Have you ever had your handwriting analyzed? We discussed this. Refer to #1. I can't stand a writer who comes in here without doing his research. It is clear I can't write well. Why do you have to dwell on it Roy? Gee, what is question #5 gonna be about... how much us lefties smudge the page when we write? I get it! I have never had my handwriting analyzed, but due to a great grasp of sociology, psychology, and quackery... I can do that for you now. Here is exactly what one of those pin heads would say: extroverted, impulsive, confident, and one sexy bastard. 5. If you could receive a personal, hand-written letter from anyone in the world right now, who would you choose and why? Why would you want a letter from him/her? Jan Wenner from Rolling Stone. It would be a letter that said something to the effect of "Dear Lono, we need you . I need you. Rock needs you. I know in the last 15 years we have drifted into pop culture people magazine type turf. Thing is, we want to get back to rock. I want to run a magazine that follows, documents, and even leads in the great dialogue of rock music. I need someone who is snarky, way overconfident in their abilities and knowledge, and someone who cares about and studies rock for a living. Be that guy, and I will pay the crap out of you. Leave that great job in the nice office with the awesome benefits. Go live the life of a disgusting rat and report back to me with 2000 words by January 1.
from the benevolent Roy, always


Blogger sallyann said...


After reading a few lines of your blog, I discovered you had the persona to really bite into me and now I'm wondering why you didn't. I guess I'll find out when we "engage" our debate. Other than that, I find your "I am Correct" site interesting. Looking forward to the duel.


4:47 PM  
Blogger Juanito The Bandito said...

Man, I new this punk back in the day... When he was just a sibling in the gods of Bacchus. Writing to him meant a signature on the judicial system. Damn him, Damn beer and DAMN Especially Tequila. For it has takin over my life. And his is yet to be judged.

As your advisor... I suggest a trip to lake powell with all your long last pals, while they are un-committed to the opposite sex and have time and money.

-Jonny Jonny JJ Jonny

10:58 PM  
Blogger Lono said...

So then Johnny, can I take your letter to mean you are committed to the same sex? It's ok here. I'm a democrat, and we aren't afraid of you fruity types at all. As for Powell, that is a capital idea - a time to consider would be Fall 2005. There are some super good deals right now because Powell has been drying up pretty bad from the drought.

2:39 AM  

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