I'm Rich!

Check this out. I was cruising the mall doing some Christmas shopping the other day and came across this display in a store window. They must have had 10 different pairs that looked at least as terrible as this. I walked by thinking, "Wow, someone would pay to have their jeans pre-destroyed". I kept walking. Then, inspiration struck and I knew that you, my reader, needed me. My curiosity was peaked as I began to wonder how much they cost.

Probably about $20, I figured. That is how much I spend on each pair of jeans. I used to be loyal to Levi's, but they are tough to find these days. Now that everyone and their mother makes jeans... any clothing store in America will get you a good set of new jeans for $20-ish. Just about a month ago I had to retire a very loyal set of jeans, because they looked like that above.

Surely no one would dress like that if they weren't painting a house. Surely no one would pay extra for jeans that looked like that, right? Right? I couldn't even wear these to work, and I am homeless!

Wrongo, spaz! Before we get to the price, because it is clear that is the apex of our story... lemme give you the product tag line verbatim

100% cotton, hand drawn artwork, unique handcrafted destruction details on every pair, Vintage Abercrombie Wash, Boot Fit, Imported

So how much are they? $100. Yup, one hundred simoleans. As soon as I got home I fished out those retired jeans. I hadn't really thrown them away, just hid them from my wife. I began to look trough my disgusting, tattered, nearly destroyed wardrobe and realized... Holy Shit! I am gonna be rich. Someone out there please tell the Abercrombie people to call me, they won't answer mine.