Friday Fives

1. Do you have a top five list of the actors that you would love to see die in a movie?

(author takes his sunglasses off, and in an unnecessary and overly dramatic way says...) David Caruso, twice. Keanu Reeves. Brittany Murphy. (Author now re-applies the sunglasses in questions and says) David Caruso again, but this is barely stretching the term 'actor'. That's five!

2. "How much money would it take for you to kill a puppy with your bare hands?"

This could be the greatest question I have ever been asked, seriously. It's more than thoughtful... it's disturbing. I guess it really depends if we are talking about a bad doggie or not. There are times when I have smacked the living shit out of my dog, Max. To kill him though, well I can't see him being that bad. Especially since he lives in a cage now and can't do any damage. If it is a really bad dog, like say one of those drop kick dogs that bark and yipe all day... I could do it for $1,000. However, if you are talking about an angel dog (like our Maury) there wouldn't be enough money for me to do it... and you are sick for asking. Ok, tell you what... I can see you are a business man. Here is the offer, for $20,000 I will kill them both for you right now. For $50,000, you can bring a camera. Also, there are the Brunos of the world. Bruno is my favorite dog in the world that I don't own. Don't worry, I'll still kill the little fucker... but you have to pay extra.

3. If you collected posters to hang on your wall, and all of the posters had a similar theme, what would that theme be? Swimsuit models? Famous athletes? Great movies?

Rock. Everything my life revolves around rock and music. To be specific, my basement is an homage to all things rock. It is where I keep all my guitars and basses and amps and rock posters. To be specific, it is where my wife allows me to keep these things. This is a conversation I have had often in the last few years though. When you say which posters, you mean 'who are your role models?'. Most role models (admittedly mine) come from music or sports. Well, they are all almost uniformly assholes. Why? You would be too if you were a millionaire at 19 and surrounded by yes men. In fact, some would say you are an asshole right now... and possess none of those other attributes.

To get back to the question, the walls are covered with artists I love and have seen. Big Head Todd, James Taylor, Dawn of Humans, Joe Myers, Perfect Circle, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins. Toad the Wet Sprocket (signed)... you get the idea.

4. What is the "coolest tool" or tip you use that makes your life so much better that you need to shout to the hills in order for everyone to know about?

Wow, as a nascent tech dork... that is a loaded question. I should first acknowledge that I am obsessed with weather. I have two weather stations in the house and one in the truck. Perhaps growing up in Phoenix played a part... because there is NO weather. None. It is either really hot (summer, 120 degrees) or fine out (winter, 70 degrees). But, never start a sentence with a conjunction. But, the most exciting tech thing must be my new iPod. I am still working on it about 3 hours a night getting my CDs into it and fixing the labeling of songs and stuff. As of this minute I have 3363 songs and 13 of the 20 gigs used up. I know that is less than my last post, but I had a bunch of redundancies. I have tuned the garage stereo to 87.9 fm now too. This means that the iPod beams to my work radio, my car stereo, and my home stereo.

Sadly, I wish I had this 10 years ago. The reason being, corporate radio has so completely ruined the music experience for me that I haven't listened to music on the radio since early last year. So, I have been listening to NPR which rules. I also used to go to concerts... constantly. I have seen almost every band. EVERY BAND. I have only two regrets in rock and roll; not having seen Motley Crue or Guns & Roses in their prime. These are not small comments. I don't much anymore because of cost. Tickets cost $60 ($25 of which goes to Ticketbastard). Then $20 to park, $5 each beer, $10 to eat, and then get home safely? F that. I have a home theatre and a kegerator... that would be why you haven't seen me out of Parker in years.

5. Have you ever run for public office? (student council, local stuff?) Will you in the future? What would your platform be?

Yes, I have. I have run for two local town council spots with Parker. I have lost both opportunities. Without admitting how bitter I am, both times the positions went to insanely old people and they have had to since re-post the same 2 year commitment every three months. Will I run in the future? Absolutely! I know this sounds cliché, but I really really want to represent and help people. This is why I keep applying to the Parker Town Council (really, it's a town. We aren't even a city because we don't have 50,000 people yet. Isn't that cute?) and working for the Red Cross whenever I can. If you look at the title of this little page, you need to know that being right always is as much a curse as a gift. As a result of my majorly cushy and privileged upbringing... I want to serve the rest of my life helping people (and being well paid too, to be honest).

As for my platform, I have to quote the most insightful reference ever on this issue... my brother Johnny. He is the fool who keeps defending Wal-Mart. Anyhow, he made an amazing point years ago to me, and it still blows me away. Johnny said this would be his stump speech:

My views are moot. It doesn't make a difference what I think. I work full time for you. You tell me what to do, and you tell me what your concerns are.... and I will fight for them.

So, I have always liked that concept. However, I am a classic Democrat, so I am also concerned about fairness and accountability too.

as is somewhat needless to say at this point - all Friday Five goodness comes from Roy