Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Monday, January 31

I worry too much

I worry about the economy, I worry about you, I worry about the people of Iraq, I worry about the people in charge of running the country (a lot). I worry that the people being paid to represent your best interest are instead representing and defending corporations instead. I decided to make today a stress free Monday. How so? I am going to be a George Bush admiring new conservative for the day (at least). For too long I have worried about societies inequities and abuse of power. No longer, baby! For today, I am all that I hate and fear - a Republican! See, it turns out that
  • minorities aren't fairly represented the higher echelons of society because they are lazy
  • gay people are being gay just to spite everyone
  • stop worrying about the environment, it will take care of itself just fine
  • global pollution is our divine right as the #1 superpower
  • there is no such thing as global warming
  • the free market will fix everything
  • don't worry about endagenered species, a little something called evolution will take care of inferior species
  • scratch that, there is no such thing as evolution.
  • Corporations have our best interest at heart
  • If we force our will against the world, they will respect us more
  • the only way to end people's dependence on government and teach fiscal responsibility is to run up the higheset deficit in history
  • the best way the war can be safely fought is to raise billions and billions and have every penny of that go to contractors and war profiteers instead of the actual forces
  • the USA is in debt up to our eyeballs. the dollar is at an historic low and the UN has advised countries against investing in us because of unmanageable debt. hmmm, let's go to Mars!
ah, see? I feel way better already.


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