Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, March 10

Friday Fives

1. Early childhood discipline. Were you swatted? Grounded? Left on a desert island to contemplate your sins?

No physical discipline at all (which perhaps we could have used). Whenever I was bad, my Dad would kick my dog... hard as he could. Boy, I learned quick in that house. Just kidding, geesh. My father only beat women. again... kidding.

2. As a child, when was the first time you remember experiencing Them Cold Hard Facts of Life (real disappointment and realization that bad things can happen).

When I was very young (about 6 or 7) I lost my best friend in the world to a car accident. That pretty much fucked me up for a while. His name was Brian Schumacher, and that is the first time I have thought about him in about five years. This is the true definition of what Frued called 'repression'

3. At bed time, do you need a bed time story or do you fall fast asleep? Any routines that must happen before the slumber?

When I go to sleep, there is no radio or TV or anything. Once I get all comfy and warm, I jack the fan up to high speed (remote control ceiling fan, highly recommended). Then I do about 10 - 15 very deep and slow breaths. It brings my heartrate down and calms my mind. Often I am asleep before I get to the 15.

4. How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

hmm, I don't remember. Usual age as any other kid. I had training wheels and big brothers to help and all that. Pretty much usual childhood narrative there.

5. As a teen learning to drive, any driving related altercations that you never told your parents about?

well, duh! And I believe they still read this page on occasion, so you ain't getting me to confess anything, sucker! No wait... I can use this to my advantage.

Often when my Mom was at work I would sneak out and have her car detailed. Also, I would babysit and sneak the money into my mom's purse. When my folks were out of town I would usually mow the lawn and clean the garage. Sometimes would sneak to the library to get better grades so my family would be proud of me.


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