Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, April 14

the lighter loophole

You may have heard recently that as of today cigarette lighters are banned on airplanes. All cigarette lighters banned on all flights. Good news, smokers... I have an out for you. Because I am a spaz with no life or friends or job... I read the fine print. It actually says 'cigarette lighters' in the FAA text.

Remember how when you would go to head shops you couldn't use the word 'bong'? We had to call them 'water pipes'. Most importantly, everyone had to pretend that all of this stuff was for 'tobacco use only'. No one has ever smoked tobacco through a bong. Ok, I have... and it was the most unpleasant thing I have ever tried. I was testing the bong (homemade - shop class special) and only had tobacco. It was the equivalent of smoking 6 cigarettes in one breath. Bad idea!

So where does this leave us, and why the creepy anecdote? Because semantics are so important to the Feds... here is what you do. Bring your lighter on board. When they explain is it against the law to bring a cigarette lighter on board... you explain to them it is strictly for marijuana use only. Now, don't actually carry weed too. That would be dumb.

This will work, my cousin Frank is at the airport right now and trying it. Shouldn't be a problem. Also, I hope to usher in a new phrase to the lexicon - "for Marijuana use only'

Funny thing is, I don't even smoke pot. However, here at I Am Correct ... we look out for those who do. In fact, I kinda think of y'all as my 'target audience'.


Blogger Scotty said...

Target acquired!

2:12 PM  

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