Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, May 19

Friday Fives

Posted by Hello

1. You can invite 2 artists to your house, but they must sing together. Who are they and what one song will they sing?

The first is Joe Myers, who you have probably never heard of before. The other is (of course) Billy Corgan. I would not allow them to sing together, Billy's voice just doesn't jibe with anything but his guitar. That being said, and since I have changed the rules... each musician will play one song at my behest. For Joe, I would ask him to do Jade, and I'd have Billy do Mayonnaise.

Honestly, I had to intervene on that one. Remember last time someone tried that? A very young David Bowie was a guest star on the Bing Crosby Christmas Special. Bowie didn't want to sit on camera more than a minute without any lines, so he added a whole verse to 'Little Drummer Boy'? What a weird disaster. I love Bowie, and have strangely become a fan of that version... but you just don't go splitting genres like that.

2. Are you on "the light side" or "the dark side"?

Are you talking about my thing for black women? That is a myth. Oh, you meant the whole truth and justice thing. Surely I would be a 'Light Side' type person. Remember, I am a Democrat, so I believe in all that stupid stuff like clean air and giving non whites a fair shot at opportunity.

3. If you could completely start your life over from scratch, what would you do differently the second time around (if anything)?

What are you implying? Did I totally screw this one up? Just kidding. I would pay much more attention in school. I would have had much more self confidence too. I was plagued with feelings I was a loser and doomed to be alone for life pretty much until college (when I started getting laid). Is that normal? I would have started writing and playing music earlier. Also, I would have gotten into politics and volunteering at a much earlier age... so I could be more helpful. Also, I would have killed this piece of shit president and everyone in his administration long before they could do the damage to the history of the world, and Americans that they are doing now. I honestly believe one day this country will come to it's senses and these terrorists running our country how will be held to their crimes in what can only be compared to the Nazi war crime trials at Nurembourg . Of course, I can't say that. Ok, this is a biggie, I would have learned to be way more handy at every opportunity (like, fixing cars and stuff).

4. Do you have any purple clothes in your closet? If so, what items are they? Do you enjoy wearing the color purple?

Yes, I have a cool purple dress shirt. Y'all know I am a freak by now... so my love of things like Purple shouldn't surprise anyhow. However, now purple is everywhere. When I was a kid, purple was like Snuffleupagus (Big Bird's invisible mammoth best friend). It was a well kept secret, now everyone knows. See, back in the 70's, only Big Bird (and us kids viewing) could see Snuffleupagus... so he was our secret friend. I guess a bunch of executives realized they were possibly giving American kids a mass neurosis by giving every kid in America the same invisible pal. Nonsense! Look at me, I turned out fine.

5. What do you picture when you think of garbagemen?

First thought, honestly, is Mexican guys. I hate to stereotype, but every garbage man I have had has been Mexican. Next, I think of them as the few people in America who are truly 'working for a living'. After that, I wonder if I have too much trash and if they think of me as a big jerk for having all that lawn crap out there. Then, I wonder if me and my wife make more or less trash then most. Indeed, a weird question... but an honest answer.


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