Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Tuesday, May 10

Just live closer

So some report came out reminding us how absolutely terrible Denver traffic is. Our city size is like 13th and we have like the 7th worst traffic in the country. My co-workers all confirm this. I have several employees who drive more than an hour each way. In the old days, folks would shift bid for their lifestyle, or day care. Now, folks here bid for a shift that will get them home before or after rush hour.

Gas Prices are rising, and so that isn't helping things either. Plus, we are at war with the people who make the gas. Here in Denver we have a wonderful e mail based system called My Traffic News that e mails you every day before you go home to tell you how bad your drive will suck today... accident reports, construction info, and concerts which impact traffic. They have a slogan called 'Sleep in for Safety'. While I am already doing that, I have a better idea... move closer to work I made that decision about five years ago, and am so happy I did. It was when I was driving an hour each away across the length of Denver. Then, they announced we would be tearing up and rebuilding our highway through town. This is good, it needed it. However, that freeway was how I got to work and home every day.

So I decided to move south. Now I am 12 minutes from work. I can go home for lunch every day and just watch CNN and eat a frozen meal. I don't though. I sit here at my desk and type to you dorks. It is also nice to be so close to home in case I have to change (you have no idea how messy I am). I am so close that when the tornado hit my house two years ago, people at work saw it happen.

So now I don't worry about commutes, construction, weather, rush hour, or gas prices. So, this saves you a fortune in gas. This saves the environment a ton of poison, because it is clear that none of you are willing to take public transportation. This helps eliminate our dependency on hostile nations for resources too. Honestly, I can't see why you wouldn't do this. Ok, I hear you on that. You say, what about my spouse? He/she doesn't work anywhere near where I work. Wouldn't that be created the same problem for him/her if we just move near my job? The answer is, fuck 'em! You are the one who took the intitiative to read this, and so I have decided you are the one who gets to live closer. After all, I am correct.


Post a Comment

<< Home