Friday Fives

1. How old were you when you got your driver's license? Learned to drive a stick shift?

15 years and 7 months old. That was when you could file for a learners permit in Arizona and I think I was there that day. As for stick shift, much much later. I was probably mid 20's before I ever got the hang of it.

Funny story about that. When I was about 20 I went back East to do a Summer tour with the Dead and my big brother Johnny. It was a phenomenal tour, and sadly Brent's last. Anyhow, at the end of the Dead show we realized we were in NO shape to drive... probably for a few days. So, we left our car at RFK stadium in Washington DC over night. You see where this is going, right? Bad idea, needless to say. It was broken into and all of our shit was stolen out of it. Anyhow, the reason for this tale is that I was sent alone to retrieve the car at get back to the hotel in Chevy Chase (a suburb outside DC). Well, I got lost and it took me 4 hours to get back to the hotel. Funny thing was, I totally had a Chevy Chase moment. I passed the White House like 6 times that day. It was like 'Hey kids, Big Ben... Parliament'. Plus, I was in a stick and didn't know how to drive stick (I figured it out by the end of the trip though). Also, this being way before the advent of cell phones... I had no way to phone ahead to the hotel to say "help, I am terribly lost", or "help, I can't drive stick", or "help, the car has been broken into and they broke all the windows and stole our shit." Regardless, it was the best trip ever.

2. Who taught you how to drive?

My older brothers mostly. Also, we paid for a supplemental high school after school class called 'behind the wheel'. This was where a teacher with clearly low ambition took us around town as an instructor a few times. The beauty of that was, when I went to the DMV as I was 16... I just handed them my 'behind the wheel' certificate and I passed! I didn't have to do the written or driving test. But mostly, it was my wonderful and tolerant brothers who I love more than anything and raised me themselves. That being said, my lawyer has advised me not to speak about them or the case until it is settled.

That reminds me, remember the movies they used to show to get us to wear seatbelts? 'Blood on the Highway', 'The Streets run Red', 'Steve loses an arm again'. I would bet they don't show stuff like that anymore. I bet the kids are protected from such totally disturbing imagery. Oh well, it worked. I always wear my seatbelt.

3. Cars: first, current and pie-in-the-sky future?

First was a 1977 Toyota Celica (the year was about 1988). I had saved up the requisite $1200 from working at fast food. I worked at Jack in the Box and KFC. - Current - I just bought a truck last weekend, believe it or not. For years I had Toyota Tacomas, but in order to drag our horsey around I needed a much bigger truck. I got a Ford F250 Turbo Diesel Superduty. Pie in the sky future car? The Moller Skycar, duh! *sidenote - that is not a photoshop job. This is a real life flying car you can buy.

4. Napster/Kazaa/Filesharing: A crime or the Best Thing Ever?

A good deal of both. When I was younger (about four years ago) I had this noble defense about downloading. It was about stickin' to the man and teaching the industry a lesson. Artists only make about 40 to 50 cents per CD sold. The rest goes to lawyers and suits and stuff. I figured it was OK to steal from them since they were stealing from the artists.

That being said, I have wisened up, and I know it is just stealing. There is no sense rationalizing it, we are stealing the hard work and creative love of the artists. That being said, I still totally do it. I just feel worse about it when I do. Specifically, I use Kazaa lite. I don't do it much though. In total I have probably downloaded about 100 songs I'd say. Mostly, I use Kazaa to steal software and download p0rn (again, only when necessary). It is wonderful, and at this very second I am listening to 'Killer of Giants' from Ozzy Osbourne. It was downloaded just minutes ago, I have been on an Ozzy kick the last week or so. This is such a complex issue though, I could bore you way more than I already have.

5. You've just inherited $35 million dollars. Show me how you'd spend it.

Normally I'd make a joke about hookers and blow here. However, to be totally honest I am in a different and more secure place in life. After volunteering with the Red Cross and watching them struggle to make ends meet, I see where the money can really do some good. Also, our President called Amnesty International 'annoying' for calling out the numerous human rights violations. Also, I know Parker is struggling to replace... yeah - it would be hookers and blow. Don't give me that look, you know I totally share.