Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Tuesday, June 7

Radio, the way you want

Just kidding, you robots.

There is a new trend in radio being reported. They say the widespread use of iPod's has changed the way people listen to music. Only just weeks ago, apparently all Americans like one very specific type of music and were dead loyal to it. However, apparently American's went out and got iPods and realized they could listen to different types and genres of music and still somehow enjoy each. Now, as someone who freely skips between Megadeth and James Taylor... I might have told you this years ago. However, it appears I was the only one for sometime.

So the radio industry has heard your calls (or, lack of) and decided to tell you they are going to mix up that corporate staid rock model and change the rules. This is akin to when your boss takes off his tie in some effort to pretend he is a regular guy with regular concerns... just like you.

It's lies and bullshit, my friends.... and everything you would expect from Clear Channel. Gee, a random mix of suckitude all the way from Phil Collins to Billy Joel. These assclowns who have been jamming Good Charlotte and Hootie down your face don't care what you want to listen to at all. It's an image game. Watch, I can do it too!

Here is my new radio station promo:
New slogan "dude, here at KRCT* we're fuckin' nuts! Seriously, bro. We locked the old man in the basement and now it's just crazy Larry and me on the mike all day. I think I am gonna say Booger. There it is, I did it, bro... because this is your station now." Get it? It's crap, the same crap that every single morning zoo has been feeding you for 30 years. I loved it when I was young. Dave Pratt woke up with me every day and Mary McCann was there when I went to bed. They were friends... well, better friends than you anyway. My point being, it will be the same old shit, just slightly repackaged. Amazingly, the radio industry is one business that has never seemed to be customer focused... and never paid the price.

* KRCT - did you catch that? It phonetically spells 'Correct', just like the site name. Oh, really? Well, since you are SO great and SO clever why don't you just start your own site and be the envy of three guys I know like I am!

for example

Today I was shopping with Renee and saw 'Coke, Zero. It is some diet Coke, with zero calories. I hadn't seen it before, and thanks to my DVR I haven;t watched a commercial in months. Anyhow, in order to respond to the diet and low carb craze we now have on the market:

coke diet coke diet coke w/ Splenda C2 (half the cabs of reg Coke) Coke Zero

That is indeed pretty responsive to market trends. Frankly, I am impressed. Here is what the geniuses behind the new programming for radio offer instead:

Our slogan is `Playing What We Want,' so there is no off-limits artists," he said. The station won't, however, be taking requests

Dig that, they won't be taking requests. Finally a radio station is willing to listen to my needs and desires as a consumer and not take my calls?

Seriously, was that a typo? This is how Clear Channel and Inifinty apologize to me for Loverboy and the Spin Doctors? Hmmm, they are right about one thing... that iPod sure is sounding like a better idea every minute.



2 Comments:

Blogger Beaker said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Beaker said...

I've been an MP3 player whore for 3 years. I was an early adopter and mine might not be as cool as the iPod, but in my headphone world, I can jump from Beethoven to Jens Lekman to some Juno Reactor. Fuck Clear Channel. DIE RADIO DIE

12:43 PM  

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