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Monday, August 1

A open letter to Rockstar games

Dear Rockstar games, I recently had a troubling experience with a product of yours and wanted to bring it to your attention. For years now, my family and I play 'Vice City' on Tuesday nights. It's family thing, we order pizza and snuggle up to the big screen for some family bonding. Before this last weekend, we always had fun with your product. Me and my son Jeremy compete to see who can steal the most money from the hookers we beat, whereas my daughter Tamara is a straight up cop killer. The game might not be public school education, but here in Douglas County my kids need any kind of inner city simu (and stimu)lation. So imagine my horror when we were playing last weekend with my mother in law. She picked up a hooker at the bank she was robbing and was ordering 'hot coffee'. If you know Elanor, you know she loves an after dinner coffee.
big mistake
Turns out... hot coffee was a code for sex. Yeah, the 's' word. Believe it, right there on my own home television... a pixiliated nipple on a 2 inch character. My kids just started crying 'Why, Why, how does this serve the storyline?'. Astutely, Jeremy noted this was more of a distraction from the key plotpoints? Really, objectifying women does little to illustrate the illegimacy of corrupt police and the decaying moral fabric gently hinted at by the games designers." It breaks my heart to see a nice company such as yours sully the reputation of mafia hit men and whores with sex! This game was once a learning and development tool for the kids. Jeremy learned his first 'F' bomb from the game, and now he is just ashamed. I fear after this whole 'coffee-gate' scandal is over... my daughter might never have the courage to shoot an officer of the law again.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are a country of idiots with screwed up principles. Sex=evil. Guns=good. Rockstar Games was not sued for gratuitous violence, but is sued for sex. The world is surely shaking their heads again at the good ole' US of A.

10:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW it is Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, not Vice City that has the hot coffe code... Also, Sex + Guns= one heck of a good time. One more thing, guns do not cause violence or crimes, people do, so the initial commentators analogy is ridiculous

5:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think the first commentator was just trying to say that this country is full of prudes that get worked up over sex when there are more serious things they should be worried about. the grandma in the lawsuit wasn't upset that her grandkid could kill people, but was upset that he cold see sex. that's just silly.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Beaker said...

Ever since Janet had her wardrobe malfunction, this country has been censoring more and more of everything. In light of this, I find it highly disturbing that by age 18 an American child will have seen 16,000 simulated murders and 200,000 acts of violence. But this is somehow less damaging than seeing a breast? Give. Me. A. Fucking. Break.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Scott said...

What I find most hilarious is that your responses fail to acknowledge the writers HIGHLY sarcastic point of...after cop killing and hooker beating, is a nipple really a larger step to the darkside. Furthermore he is mocking the fact that people are offended at the nudity in this "family game" when it truly is neither...a family thing or a game.

I am guessing you all own a copy...

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scott,
I think all but the second writer got the author's point and realized that he was being sarcastic. They seemed to agree that it was ridiculous that nudity/sex/whatever, is what is causing all of the commotion, not violence. To me it seemed that they agreed with the author that it's not a family game and that violence is more damaging than a boob. They just focused their responses on the grandma and others in this country that are now investigating the gaming company, instead of the author.

2:09 PM  

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