Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, January 27

Friday Fives

1. What happened the last time you got furious in traffic?

Well, I can be a jerk when I get intolerant. I mean, everyone can be a jerk when they are mad in traffic. However, I have the actual means to terrify. I have this comically large diesel truck I drive (seriously, Ford F250 7.3 liter Diesel Powerstroke Turbo). So, if someone is being a tard: I shine my high beams on them, then flick the Sun-like floodlights on them (candlepower that would make the Mayans jealous.) Then, hit the horn and rev the engine. Every time, people move quickly. Funny thing is, the only time I get into 'full rage I will kill you with this truck' is if people don't use their turn signals. Honest, I don't even mind being cut off, just have the sense to warn me. This truck does not stop gently, I wish it would, but it don't.

2. What is your favorite "wintertime" song?

I have taken even more to the new U2 disc (How to Dismantle and Atomic Bomb). When I was flying back east a month ago to Buffalo, NY the whole country was in the grip of a huge snow storm. I took off in Denver snow, landed in Chicago o'Hare snow... took off in that storm and landed in a snow storm in Buffalo. Besides drinking a lot of whiskey out of those tiny bottles that I bring with me, I have the iPod. As we flew over these insanely iced over and snowy cities, the U2 song 'City of Blinding Lights' came on the iPod. It was a very transcendent moment for me.

Forever when flying through snow storms and looking down, I will think of that song. It was something beautiful. We flew over thousand of miles of snow packed nothingness, then these cities would show up from the plane like little light bright kits. Just as dusk hit, I spied one of these cities as that song played. It became a whole perspective thing. I mean, thousands of people were living out there daily lives, but to me it was almost a Thomas Kincaid moment. Of course, I was on pain killers for a broken ankle... so that may have contributed to the majesty of it all. Either way, the music was powerful and important. Maybe it was cause I was pretty sure we were going to die.

3. I dig office supply stores. What is your favorite office supply?

paper. I steal printer paper from work mostly. It's strange, but I really do appreciate a fistful of fine virgin paper. Maybe that is because as an English grad I wrote a zillion term papers and had to use that shitty dot matrix paper that you had to tear the sides off of to use. It is some kind of dork sentimentality I guess.

4. First time you threw up in someone else's toilet?

Like I remember, I am a drinker! How about this for trivia instead? We put in new bathrooms over the holidays and exactly a week ago I got terribly ill in our new bathroom. Supersick, deathchills, weeping... it freaked me out. Thinking I was about to die, I crawled back to bed, awaiting death... my wife (apparently not grasping my serious bout with mortality) chimed in "Hey, first barf in the new bathroom!" It seemed like she was proud. Maybe cause it wasn't her.

5. What is the most adventurous food you've ever tried?

I don't have a specific memory of one weird food experience. I remember being afraid to try bugs at the outdoor market in Oaxaca, Mexico... and eating a diet almost entirely comprised of squid in Spain.

as you know, all of this goodness comes from Roy. Stop and pay him a visit. Next up, Black History Month and a mondo diatribe against Jesse Jackson.

1 Comments:

Anonymous some_maineiac said...

"This truck does not stop gently, I wish it would, but it don't."

since i've been reading your blog for a while and have hints about the sort of man you are, i imagine you push the braking distance to the limit, stopping scant inches from whatever it is that you don't really want to hit and putting the fear into your target...

i hope the first barf reached the appropriate target and no one had to pick it up off the floor...

5:10 AM  

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