Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, May 19

Friday Fives

1. Do you squeeze the toothpase tube or roll it? What's the advantage of your method?

I have this thing my brother gave me which was a tchoczky (free giveway thingy) which rolls the toothpaste with a gentle crank and so maximizes all that tartar fighthing goodness. In fact, I am still on the same tube from 1994!

2. How many siblings do you have? What's your birth order?

I have two older brothers, and I am at the very lowest on the totem poll. Gee, thanks for reminding me.

3. What is something you won? How did you win it?

It has been a long time since I 'won' anything. However, I have the greatest and most satisfying life right now... so I ain't lookin' for any handouts.

4. What is one of your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?

Lono - it is an old Hunter Thompson reference. Allow me to go deeper for once on this. Lono is a Hawaiin deity. Apparently he was a crazed and surly bastard towards the end of his life... after he lost his wife. He told his minions he would one day return to Hawaii as their proper king.

Fast forward a few hundred years and you have Captain James Cook exploring the Hawaiin islands for the Brits. Somehow, the island folk got it into their head that this Cook dude was the return of Lono. Since they treated Cook and his crew as deities... Cook was in no hurry to correct them. Eventually, they found out the truth and killed him... rightfully so.

Fast forward again a couple hundred years and you have Hunter Thompson traveling to Hawaii in 1980 to write about this new fad of running. For whatever reason, he again injusts WAY too many drugs of every kind and somehow decides that he too is the incarnation of Lono. The locals were less amused this time and banished him. Out of this came my absolute favorite Hunter Thompson book, Curse of Lono. Long story longer, I am a big fan of the doctor and my college roommates dubbed me Lono.

5. What's something your parents used to say to you as a child that you promised yourself you'd never say - but now you catch yourself saying it?

ah, there are so many. I guess I find myself saying the most "Goddamnit Kevin, if you shit on the couch one more time I am selling you to the gypsies for wood." Yeah, we had a complicated relationship.


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