Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Monday, July 31

Who is the worst?

I bet sometimes you get mad at your parents. I bet when you were younger you thought you had the worst parents in history. You were wrong, your parents did great. Some of you may have children, and fear perhaps that you may be the worst parent in history. You are not. You are doing terrifically! You may think Michael Jackson is the worst parent in history. While being quite close, even he is not the worlds most horrible parent.

If I have done my job correctly, you are probably asking yourself 'but who, who damnit?'. Joe Simpson, the father of hottie half wit Jessica Simpson. Why? Read this quote from him:
“She just is sexy,” Joe Simpson once said. “If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double Ds! You can't cover those suckers up!”

If you said 'Eeewwwww', then you are on target. Now, don't you feel better about the job your parents did on you? At least they didn't have a press conference to announce how sweet your ta ta's are.


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