Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Tuesday, September 12

We are back to banality!

Dear reader, and I mean that in its singularity, thank you for taking a knee with my yesterday in rememberence. The good news is the terrorists surely haven't won, because dumb news is alive and well. You know about the Croc hunter being dead, of course. You might be sad, or maybe even a little angry at Steve for putting himself at constant risk. Wait, you tell yourself, this is how he lived... and surely how we would have wanted to go, right?

Wait, he had two children and a wife, didn't he? Maybe he needed to cut down on the bravado and consider he is supporting a family. Steve should have tailored back his wild ways and maybe stepped back into production and hosting... both safer. Why risk everything with a family on the line?

Then, you remember he wasn't just supporting a family... but a continent. Australia is a continent, isn't it? It was when I was in school... of course... so was Pluto. Anyhow, Steve Irwin was the entire GNP of Australia ever since dingo meat took a dive on the open market. He was also very very big on conservancy and gave most of his money to protect the wild species that he loved. Knowing that, how could Steve have just quit being dangerous?

Then, it all comes together: Those fucking stingrays! It is that stingray's fault that it unconsciously and instinctively defended itself. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they were all in it together. True story, folks, Stingray's are being attacked and mutilated all over the coast of Australia in the wake of Steve Irwin's unfortunate passing. Sure, Australia used to be a continent of criminals... but they are finally taking crime seriously on the great island > Crikey!


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