Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Monday, October 23

an Open Letter to my 'brother'

I know about the adoption. I know one of us was adopted, Grainger (if that is your real name). How? Remember your wedding program? You said something nice about everyone involved. You said something wonderful, flattering, and viciously accurate about me. Remember what it was? I do.
Kevin is the funniest person I have ever met


met? When did we meet? I thought we were brothers? In fact, you are older... so you should have seen me born. You didn't, though, did you. Just when did you 'meet' me? More importantly, which one of us was adopted?

See you in court, brother

4 Comments:

Blogger Grainger said...

Listen Uncle Fester...

I read your piece to my son and even he thinks you are a monster doofasaurus. Now it is time for all of us to stop enabling you and be honest about what we really think...

George Bush is the MAN
Walmart is the last bastion of good
and...MOST IMPORTANTLY...
Percosette or not...YOU ARE NOT FUNNY.

Now, go back to masturbating to naked pictures of Tip O'Neil and stop leaving those of us who live in the real drug free world alone.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Lono said...

this from a guy who named my second nephew - Spramfed

whose on dope now

5:11 PM  
Blogger Grainger said...

that is SPRAMPH HEAD...

p.s. at least I didn't try and cut my own hair before my 7th birthday party.

6:02 PM  
Blogger Lono said...

Your honor, let the record reflect that above is an implicit admission of the naming of the child. By spell checking my comment, it is a defacto acknowledgement that he named a child

SPRAMPH HEAD

What are you, Frank Zappa? Not funny, buddy. How is that kid gonna turn out? What happens when someone has to give Matthew the 'big talk' about how he was named Spramph Head? Do you know how much that is going to cost the kid in therapists?

I can't possibly imagine what my real name is, but I am guessing it isn't 'Lono' or Gordon after all. I am calling mom right now.

10:24 PM  

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