Sorry, no checks

I love the English language. It is a comfort to me, and I feel I have a near mastery of it. I have a degree in literature because I so fond of the arrangement and use of words. That is why this site above makes me cry. This is a lettered sign at my local bar. Listen, I understand if you don't want to take checks. I wouldn't ever take checks. These days, a check is roughly as good as an 'I owe you' written on a bar napkin. I get the no checks issue, but I don't get the quotation marks.

So the 'no checks' thing isn't what bothers me. The grammer is ok, as is the spelling. What are the quotation marks for? This troubles me greatly. It troubles me so greatly that I just got up and drove to that bar just to take a digital picture of their door. I didn't even go in for a beer, that is the kind of restraint and dedication I have to you. I tried to explain this grammar faux paus to my wife and she thought I was a spaz and explained no one cares. But you care, reader, right?

Traditionally, a quotation marks indicates words spoken by another... verbatim. Also, a quotation can also demark a saying or colloqialism. This situation is neither. Unless we are directly quoting the owner, but I don't think that is necessary. My real concern is I think they are trying to make it seem friendly, as if we are having conversation. Somehow, I think they are trying to soften the sting of the policy. My theory is this: they think the no check policy will put patrons off. Basically, they are accusing their patrons of being deadbeats. In order to soften the blow of the accusation, they place it in quotation marks. The rage this incites is me is almost too much to bear. "Thanks for reading"