Election Day

My favorite day of the year. This day means more to me than Christmas and bring your daughter to work day combined. I am a Democrat in a big way. That being said, I am bound to have either a great evening or a terrible evening. So, I have an exciting funtime gift for you. Sort of like Democracy itself, today we are going to do a ‘choose your own adventure’ regarding the election. I have written my thoughts down for each side of the argument. I have written a piece for both. I was going to just give you the pertinent piece… but got something more for you. I will allow you to see how I work. I am going to post both pieces. The first is if we (the Dems) won, and the second is if America lost.

Dear America, you did it! I am SO proud of you. Today we begin taking our country back from the greedheads. I gotta tell you, after 2004 I was VERY angry at you… and still am. You blew it, we blew it by letting the Bush crime family take office again. Today, though, you redeemed yourself. Today we have begun to heal our relationship with each other, and the rest of the world. This is an opportunity for the Republicans to try and go back to their Republican roots. Remember what those were? Republicans forever told us they wanted a smaller government, and to stay out of people’s private business. WOW > is there a worse description of the GOP now? It is sad, because their party has been hijacked by big business war profiteers with not a single regard for working individuals. They are assholes.

Now, if things don’t go great tonight (am writing this at 8 pm Mountain time, so everything is up in the air). Here is how things will look from my side of the GOP retains control.

I am so angry I don’t even want to talk to you anymore. You know why? Because you let them win. You let them keep America in their rich back pockets and just screwed every single American worker. I hate you. I hate Democracy, it simply doesn’t work. What more do you want to see that every one of these buttholes is a rich heartless asshole who will do nothing for you. If you aren’t one of their rich buddies, and look at you… it is clear you are not) then you are on your own. Remember how they lied to us about going to war? Then, remember how we proved it? Then, remember how they didn’t apologize? Yeah, that was sweet.

The scandals are simply too many to mention. Do you remember when you learned about government in high school? What you learned about was called ‘checks and balances’ and you clearly need a reminder. There are three branches of Government: the executive, the legislative, and the judiciary. They are separate, but equal. It is designed to be very difficult to get anything done. The reason is so that no one party, group, or person has too much control. Pretty clever, that is why the document stands. Here is the problem right now (and for the last 6 years).

The GOP (stands for Grand Old Party, seriously) controls all of them. Every single branch of the Government is held by one group. That is more than just dangerous, it is Unamerican. Forget it. You cast your vote for greed, corruption, and special interest. I love America, that is why I am so angry. I love it. What I don’t love is you. Don’t call back.

There it was – an honest read on both sides. I seriously hope that come tomorrow, the Dems did great and that last piece was unnecessary. Please tell me you did right, America. Please tell me that you voted.