Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Tuesday, November 14

Racism in America

I tried not to look the other way. I try to be the best person I can, and lead others in the same way. I try in my heart to believe that America is a tolerant and good society. God, how I tried. I can't be silent anymore, America. We live in a racist and judgemental society that has two laws: one for whites, one for blacks.

In Florida, 9 year old Jimmy Stevens is a 'hero'. Read about it here. Jimmy's mom passed out driving the family and Jimmy was able to safely steer the car to the side of the road. What's more, he called 911 and guided them to the scene so his unconscious mother could recieve immediate medical attention. So they find Jimmy behind the wheel of his mothers car and he is a 'hero'... yet they find me behind the wheel of my mothers car and it is 'manslaughter'. Why? Because Jimmy is black and I am white!

At least, that is the story from the liberal pro black press. Our media goes out of its way to find great stories about blacks, and to rosy up the ones aren't ready for prime time yet. Know what else, I have seen the picture of our 'hero' Jimmy. Jimmy is cute as hell, so I guess the law doesn't apply to him.

What's my beef? Let me tell you the story about a young writer who got caught in a similar situation in traffic on the side of the road. Did they call me a hero? Did they call me a lifesaver? Did I get to go to Red Lobster? No sir. I got to spend the night in jail, all because I am white!

You read it here, Jimmy gets a hero's welcome... and I got charged with:

felony evading

driving under the influence

assault on a police officer

felony menacing

using a car as a weapon

Did you read that last one? Come on, 'using a car as a weapon'? Doesn't that sound a little made up? My lawyer assures me it is a 'deadly serious charge'. They wouldn't even let me use my laptop in prison. I have to write this on their shitty Commodore 64 in the library. Don't worry, the black kids probably all have new Dells. I can't say for sure because they seperated me from the others after I incited another 'race riot'. Way to go, Jimmy Stevens, I hope you enjoy your free ride from society.

2 Comments:

Blogger Lono said...

Ok, I had a funnier ending for this piece. However, I didn't want to corrupt the spirit of the first one. Here goes new ending:

In closing, Jimmy Stevens is found in a running car that isn't his and he is a 'hero'.

I am found in a running car that isn't mine and I am a 'murderer'.

Is this because I ran over several elderly people drunk and coked out of my mind the other night? NO. It's because I am white, America. Apparently that is its own crime.

* was that funnier? Maybe too heavy handed. We understand this is satire, right? I think I went to far with that outro above. That is why I am leaving the original piece as it is.

What other Great American Author * of the 21st Century let's you... the lowly reader... in on the editing and draft process? none!

8:06 PM  
Blogger Grainger said...

the ending you used was the best...more subtle. If you have to hit people over the head with the comedy, either it is not funny or your audience is stupid...in your case, BOTH.

On second thought...re-write the ending. (see what I did there...inverted the premise...standard comedy)

7:23 PM  

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