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Sunday, January 14

Arizona Cardinals - your chance to shine

If you watch football, you know the Cardinals are terrible. You know that they have always been terrible and will always be terrible. Money is not an issue with this team, because they won't spend it. Remember, the Cardinals are the team who played at Arizona State University for 15 years. This is the athletic equivalent of living in your mother's basement when you are 40. You may also know I am from Phoenix, so this pains me.

The good news, I think, is that the Arizona Cardinals are not the worst team in the history of football. Though close, that honor goes to the New Orleans Saints. They have been called the 'Aints' for good reason. The numbers I am drawing from to call the Aints the worst is by play off record for the history of the teams. The Aints have been so bad for so long that when Hurricane Katrina took out the Superdome, the city tried to use that as an out to unload the Aints. The team wasn't profitable, and hadn't been in years.

Profitability is important, and more important than winning sadly. Remember that the NFL is first and foremost a business. This is why you have to pay $75 for terrible seats, $40 to park... etc. This is why I don't go to more than one Broncos game a year... can't afford it.

So, how did New Orleans even keep a team? They were notoriosuly terrible, and unprofitable. It became an important gesture to keep the team in New Orleans, since the city could use something to root for. So the city took millions and, instead of fixing the city or offering assistance, put the stadium back together. A swell feat, until you consider they spent 100 million on a building that is used 9 to 10 days a year.

I digress, we were supposed to be talking about the Cardinals... and I will. See, something happened this year that wasn't supposed to happen, and hasn't ever happened. The Aints are good. The Saints are great, and keep winning. Yesterday they became the first team to advance in the playoffs a year after going 2-14. Yeah, I watched the Saints last night for the first time in forever (their games aren't broadcast out West) and I was impressed. They kicked the Eagles' butt, and the Eagles played a really really good game. So the Saints won this week, and it looks like they will win next week. Where does that put them in the pantheon of all-time suck? Well, no longer on the bottom.

Arizona, this is your chance to take the reigns. This year, the Cardinals had plenty of talent, and a brand new stadium. Surely, that would be a jolt of positivity, right? Nope, because we are talking about the Cardinals. Earlier this year, in the loss to the Bears, the Cardinals orchestrated the biggest failure in NFL history... and it was on national TV too!

This summer will be that hallowed time when all fans say 'this could be our year'. Everybody feels good about their team in August. That is, unless you are a Cardinals fan. Whose fault is it? The Bidwells, the owners. Sadly, this isn't even a great sports discussion (like who was the best QB). It is just known as fact that the Bidwells are monsters who will only do the bare minimum to keep the team in business. This is why it took the team 15 years to get a stadium. Nobody on earth wants to subsidize the Bidwells. It would be like giving your dog a treat right after he shit in your shoes. You don't reward that behaviour. It is also why the Broncos waited to win a superbowl before they asked us for a new stadium.

Now that my beloved Broncos are out, I guess I'll end this with

Go Saints!


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