Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Saturday, January 13

They all look alike

Hey all, I am sitting at home watching playoffs. Because I just had knee surgery, I haven't left the couch in days, and am on some pretty swell painkillers. That being said, after watching non stop football for hours on end without sleep... I have noticed something. There are only like three coaches in the NFL. Somehow, they are being moved around. It is too weird to explain, so I will simply show you.

Here is Herm Edwards on the left, and Tony Dungy on the right. Same person? I say yes! Know how I can tell? No two people would choose the same child molester mustache. Even creepier, during last week's playoffs when their teams played each other, we kept hearing what great friends the two were. They play golf together and had dinner together the night before the game. Really? Remember when Bruce Willis was having dinner with his wife in 'Sixth Sense' and we realized at the end it never happened? I think it is kinda like that when these two are together.

Do you see my point? Can you tell me they are different people? I am not a racist, nor do I claim all black folk look alike. I gues I am a coachist. Ok, you with me? How about these two walruses below: Mike Holmgren (left) and Andy Reid (right). What is weird is these coaches were also playing each other during the playoffs last weekend. Do you see how confusing this? Do you know how medicated I am? Do you remember that part in fight club where we realize that Tyler Durden is really us? Is this what is happening? Good thing our coach looks like a horse, so I don't get confused. Anyhow, here is coaches Holmgren & Reid >

Ok, that ends our section on good coaches. All four (two) of those coaches are really good, and all got to the playoffs this year. Now, for the suck ass fired coaches. On the right, we have Art Shell... the guy who never moved. Art shell never once said a word, lifted a finger, or seemed to do anything for the Raiders as they had their worst season in 18 years. Bill Simmons warned us, but we did not listen. Next, on the right is ex coach Dennis Green of the Cardinals. This is the guy who not only led the Cardinals to the biggest and ugliest and most public defeat in the history of the NFL against Chicago Bears on Monday Night Football. Even better than that, he had a freakout after the game. Dude just snapped, and it is the best public meltdown I have ever seen. Click here to catch the magic from you tube.

To be honest and fair, I don't think Denny Green did a terrible job. I mean, he was coaching the Arizona Cardinals... the second worst team in the history of the NFL. The first worst is the Aints. However, after tonight, the Aints just might redeem themselves and move out of the bottom rung.

So, anyhow... I present Art Shell and Denny Green


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